Can't tell if my friend has a crush on me

[Kingsomething]

I've know this person since grade 8 and we've been friends. However since grade 11 we've gotten closer and even know she gives signs that she likes me for more than a friend but I can't tell if she's just being friendly. That's sort of her personality (nice, flirty, outgoing) but she does it more towards me than anyone else. Signs are: the odd Text/ phone call late at night, touchy, (hits, makes little fun of me, pinches), jumps on back randomly for piggy backs. Basically she gives signs that with any other girl would mean that she likes me but I can't tell with her. My friends see it too and still don't know. She has had a few boyfriends since we've met but even when she was with them we would go on late night drives, random hangouts and the same old.

I should add that I'm sort of shy and a tad insecure in the sense that I can't see her liking me for more than a friend which might be part of the reason why I'm asking this now.

I want to make a move and tell her I like her but I don't want to be wrong and lose her entirely. She is out of my league and could get any guy which is also why I think she's just being friendly

Thoughts?

[TheEvilJester]

Oh my God! I so understand how you feel. Are you secretly younger me who time traveled to now? If so, you look good with the shaved bald look, do it sooner. You'll wait for years for a new Ghostbusters movie to become a thing.... but will be really mad with the one that finally does get greenlit.... but don't worry you wind up loving it. Also, the sex change operation goes well and you make a FOXY bald chick. ....Okay, I made that last one up.

Okay, but assuming you are NOT younger me having hoped in your DeLorean to see what it is like to live in 2016, let me actually respond to your questions....

I definitely get how you feel. As you've said, she's sort of outgoing and friendly/flirty with everybody. I've known people like that, so I know what you mean. Yeah, it could very well be possible she's only like that with you because she's like that with everybody she considers a friend. Still, some of the things she does with you does honestly lean me towards thinking she "likes you" likes you. If nothing else, it at least seems enough of a possibility that it would be worth it to ask her out.

Take it from a guy who knows from a lifetime of experience.... it is so much better to know rather than to be left wondering "What if?" Even if you ask her out and it doesn't go well, at least then you know and don't have to torture yourself wondering if she likes you or just thinks of you as a friend. On the other hand, if it turns out she DOES like you as more than just a friend.... wouldn't you be kicking yourself for even considering not asking her out?

Believe me, I know how you feel when you say you don't think she could be into you. That's exactly the kind of doubt I have had to live with my whole life. Bottom line, though, OF COURSE she could be into you. I mean, maybe she is, maybe she isn't, but there is no reason she couldn't be. Even if she's not, there's no reason there won't eventually be some gal who is. So, though I know from experience that this is SO much easier said than done, but your first step is to stop being so down on yourself. Tell yourself that any gal would be lucky to have you. That if she winds up not being interested, that would be her loss and some other girl's gain. Believe me, I'm not suggestion you become a cocky jerk who thinks he is God's gift to women. I'm just suggesting that you deserve a chance to be with her just as much as any other guy. You deserve love just as much as anybody else.

I know from experience that this is so much easier said than done, but your first step really is to start to learn that you are awesome. Care enough about you to realize that you do deserve a good gal in your life. Hopefully that can be her, but if not, it will be somebody else.

But, by all means, ask her out. If she's not interested, she can certainly be free to say no thank you. On the other hand, what if she IS interested? In the end, if you ask her, whether it goes well or not, at least you will know. Then, if it didn't go well you can move on. If it did go well, maybe you'll be in the start of what could turn out to be a great relationship.

Good luck, past me.

[jacobfire]

I've know this person since grade 8 and we've been friends. However since grade 11 we've gotten closer and even know she gives signs that she likes me for more than a friend but I can't tell if she's just being friendly. That's sort of her personality (nice, flirty, outgoing) but she does it more towards me than anyone else. Signs are: the odd Text/ phone call late at night, touchy, (hits, makes little fun of me, pinches), jumps on back randomly for piggy backs. Basically she gives signs that with any other girl would mean that she likes me but I can't tell with her. My friends see it too and still don't know. She has had a few boyfriends since we've met but even when she was with them we would go on late night drives, random hangouts and the same old.

I should add that I'm sort of shy and a tad insecure in the sense that I can't see her liking me for more than a friend which might be part of the reason why I'm asking this now.

I want to make a move and tell her I like her but I don't want to be wrong and lose her entirely. She is out of my league and could get any guy which is also why I think she's just being friendly

Thoughts?

Hi Kingsomething

Sounds like she really likes you.

And you guys are great friends.

I've read in an article that if you like a friend sexually, you can either tell her by "I would love to kiss you" in an interaction and don't linger on that sentence or/and make a move and see what happens.

Hope it helps and good luck!

jacobfire

[Dream_of_Waves]

For sure it sounds like she likes you. What I'm judging this on is probably not what you think. The messages and the touchy feely stuff is one thing, but the night drives and friendship is another. If you two get on very well together, this will likely stand out for her the most. A solid friendship is the best foundation for a romantic relationship and you two have that in your favor.

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Is she's single you should start dropping hints that you want more than just friendship from her. Get get attention. Life is short.

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You say she's outgoing and nice, sometimes flirty with everyone. Is she really like that with other men as much as she is with you and her girlfriends? Or is it more with just you than any other man? The best way to figure a girl like her out is to test the waters. Flirt with her a bit and see if she flirts back. Push it to the point where you feel comfortable dropping hints that are big enough for her to read and then ask her out on a date. You want her to know that you're interested and to do that you will have to put yourself out there more. Otherwise will she know if you are into her or not.

[TheEvilJester]

I agree with Dream's suggested approach. I mean, I could be wrong, but I just don't think I necessarily agree with the idea of just blurting out something like "I want to kiss you." Again, I could be wrong. Maybe it is just me.... But that just kind of feels to me to be a bit presumptuous. If she's NOT into you, that could hit her completely off guard and scare her off. Heck, I feel like even if she does like you, you run the possible risk of that seeming too bold and scaring her off anyway. But, again, I don't know.... maybe that is just me. I suppose there is the chance that being so bold could actually seem attractive to her.

Personally, I just think either she likes you in that way or she doesn't. If she doesn't, that's not likely to change simply because you make such a bold/grand gesture. So, to me, better to take the slower approach. Not that you should go on like that forever. Eventually, you need to just give it a shot. But, some light flirting can start to give you some hint as to whether she is receptive. Then, step it up from there and if she seems to be interested, ask her out. Again, though, don't wait around for too long. Eventually, you just need to go for it and hope it goes well/move on if it does not. Good luck!