Guy's advice needed!!

[Giggles99]

My male best friend of almost 20 years recently told me he has feelings for me. I've had feelings for him for a long time but neither of us ever said anything because we didn't want to ruin the friendship. I also recently ended a long term relationship and he was there to help me through it all. The relationship ended and had nothing to do with my best friend. But after a while he told me about my his feelings and I told him that I had feelings for him too. We talked about us and agreed that neither of us is ready for a relationship right now but we both know there is more there. It's just not the right time for either of us to be in any relationship let alone together. So we agreed we are going to carry on as the friends we have always been and see if anything develops in time. We have spent a lot of time together and ended up fooling around a bit since we both admitted there was more than just friend feelings there but we never slept together. The problem is he is going through a really rough patch of his life at the moment and more than anything I want to be there to help him through without thinking about us as a potential couple. We used to either text or call each other almost daily but he has stopped responding to me and won't answer my calls. Before we talked about our feelings for each other I wouldn't have cared about how much I contact him and would be persistent until he answered because I know he sometimes doesn't feel like talking but he always says he appreciated that I don't give up and make him come out and talk about what's going on. He always opens up to me and we help each other through tough times but since our relationship has essentially changed in the past few months i feel like contacting him constantly when I know he is depressed and withdrawing away because he feels like no one cares, is just annoying him and I don't want him to think I'm clingy and annoying. He knows I'll be there for him no matter what happens between us but because I know what he is going through right now I know he needs lots of support. How can I continue to be there for him as his annoying best friend but not come across as being that clingy annoying girl as well?

[NewJack]

... How can I continue to be there for him as his annoying best friend but not come across as being that clingy annoying girl as well?

Can you imagine any way that could happen?

I don't think it can. No man can be a friend to a woman whom he thinks might be a romantic partner. Once the relationship reaches that stage, nothing else is possible.

[Giggles99]

I guess I'm starting to realise that. I'm definitely regretting telling him that I reciprocated his feelings and now have probably screwed up a twenty year friendship. At the time I just figured our friendship would be strong enough to overcome anything and if we weren't meant to be together then we'd still have that friendship.

[HindsightUK]

If you think logically, once his current problems pass or subside then things will take their natural course won't they? Relationships built on friendship are the strongest and uniting romantically is the next stage for both of you.
Don't regret telling him how you feel, hiding your feelings is not good, maybe ill timed but you were right to tell him.

He's probably desperate for your support right now but doesn't know how to separate the friendship side from the romance. He feels awkward and it's easier hiding away than facing it.

In your situation I would go and see him and make him understand that your friendship comes first and that you are here for him right now, forget the phone calls. Take the lead and get things back to normal while he's going through this bad stage.

[Giggles99]

Yes, it should take the normal course once things are dealt with or settled down.

I know I'm overthinking the whole situation because I would be devastated to lose him from my life. It's because I had silly timing that I'm regretting telling him I felt the same. I feel that I should have waited until I knew we were both in a better place. But at the time I wasn't thinking clearly of course and at the end of the day the the friendship and his happiness is the most important thing to me.

I'm going to try to see him in the next few days and try to talk to him about it all.