Looking for input.

[Phantom28]

I met a woman in 2013 at work. We shared the same breaks and ended up trading phone numbers which eventually led us to having conversations outside of the workplace. After a few months we went out a few times for food and drinks. At the time she was dating a guy but he was in and out of town quite frequently on business. This was nothing big as we were just friends and she has a lot of guy friends. Long story short it turned out the guy she was dating became jealous of me and their relationship ended since jealousy is a trait she can't handle and also the guy was going to be staying out of town permanently which also contributed to their break up. It was from this point on we became closer and closer each day. During this time she had mentioned about moving out of state but said I was the reason she was still in town.(this point is crucial for a fact later in my post) Side note here, her moving out of state had nothing to do with this guy. Soon after, in 2014, we ended up together and it was perfect. We dated for almost a year, in fact we were a month away from moving in together when she dropped the bomb. She said she wasn't ready for all that and decided we should end our relationship. Apparently her previous relationships ended when the guy cheated on her. I guess she was scared I would do the same. I instantly went no contact for over 6 months, even changing my break schedule at work, when out of the blue she contacted me. We talked on and off for a few weeks and next thing you know we started talking daily again just like we did when we first met.

Ok that's the back story, sorry if I got long winded but believe me I left out a lot of details.

Fast forward to present day. We started hanging out again even going on all day trips out of town. A few times I even stayed overnight at her place. Just recently however we were together talking about things and she brought up the possibility of her leaving the state again. She started to get emotional, crying and stuff. During this conversation she asked me to give her an honest answer to the question, "Should I take the offer and move out of state?" Without hesitation I said "No, you should stay." To which she simply replied, "OK, then I'm staying." It was that interaction where I think I made my mistake. I thought to myself that she's asking me about moving because she starting to get feelings again. I didn't say anything at that time and we just finished the night watching movies as we planned. I guess I should add that my feelings for her never fully went away. A few days later we were texting and I told her that I was still in love with her in mid conversation since at that time it seemed like the right thing to do. To me it seemed like that's what she wanted me to say. She's the type of woman that stays reserved and for all I knew it was possible she was afraid to say anything to me about her feelings. Her next response was, I think it's time we take a break. I agreed and we ended that conversation. Well a few days later I text her just to say hello since it seemed odd not to have talked to her. She replied by saying "Three days is hardly a break, you need to relax I don't want to act on impulse right now so let's just leave it at that."

It's been 10 days since I last spoke with her. So I guess after all that typing my question(s) to the females out there is....

Did I drive her away by telling her I still love her?
What does she mean by she doesn't want to act on impulse, were her feelings about to come out?
How much time qualifies as a break?

Thanks in advance for any insight on this I appreciate it and I also apologize for blabbing so much.

[nerdybutnice]

This screams commitment-phobe. If you are looking for a serious relationship where you admit your love to the girl, she says she loves you too and without a single shred of nerves you move in together and a year later are engaged then she is not the woman for you.

The easiest way to work out this situation is to have "the talk". The big scary thing you do where you both ask the questions you desperately needs the answers to and it will either end with you getting together, screaming your insecurities at each other whilst throwing spaghetti at each other (long story) or you walking away heartbroken because she "just can't do this".

Tell her that you want to talk to her because having a break is running away from a problem rather than confronting it and talking it through.

Good luck

[Phantom28]

I will ask her to talk but how do I do that when I need, for my own personal reasons, to respect her wishes and adhere to this "break"?

I don't even know how long this break is supposed to last. I guess I will just let her reach out to me when she feels the time is right. If that never happens than I guess that's something that was supposed to happen.

[nerdybutnice]

That sounds like a plan. When I went on a break from my ex we hadn't given a specific length and there were some things I needed to discuss so I worked out what I considered a long break and then added a week. As soon as that deadline approached I messaged him.

Just go with your gut instinct, it tends to be right.