We broke, she wants me back but...

[goodboy]

Hello all!

Im new here!

You know, my girlfriend and I broke but she wants me back

However, I only feel desire for her. I truly do not feel love for her.

She wants to see me but I refuse because I know I want to take her to bed

She says she loves me and I have told her I don't but I do certainly still feel (sexually, physically) attracted to her, strongly, as in the early days. I feel lust, she says she feels love.

We broke because I had an affair with another woman and Im nearly sure she also had an affair with another man though she completely denies this.

I have accepted my wrong but she strongly denies she cheated me. But she has told me lies in the past so I know she is fully capable of lying.

But anyway, regardless...

I also broke with her because she wanted to marry me and I don't want to marry her. I never wanted to marry her.

And now that I have reasonable doubt about her words, now less than ever. I admitted I had sex with another woman, but she refuses to admit she cheated me. Thats annoying.

Is it ok to have sex with your ex?

Ok, thanks all!

Sorry

[pcmaster]

Its okay. Why should you care if you dont love her. She also could be lying that she loves you. Maybe she wants just to have sex too.

[Hooo!]

nah. not that its not to ok to have sex with the ex but the real question is

what do you want?
what do you want out of your love life and your future?

[TheEvilJester]

It's not wrong if you are two consenting adults who are both 100% honest about what you want and agree to what it means. In this case, though, I think I'd personally advise against it. No matter how clear you've been with her, it sounds like she still wants a relationship, but you do not. So, you'd be better off just not to even bother. As much for your own sake as for hers. Better for her because it is better not to play with her emotions. Even if that is not your intention, that IS what that would be doing. Better for you because you then avoid the drama this would likely otherwise cause.

You already cheated on her while you two were together. That was wrong, but at least you realize and admit you did wrong. The other good that came of it is you realized that you did not truly want her (at least in any way other than sexually) and so you thought better to let her go. She wants somebody who wants all of her and who will marry her. You don't want that from her.... but that doesn't make you wrong. She's not going to find what she wants in you, so you'd be better off to let her go so she can finally accept that. If all you really want out of her is sex, you can find somebody else who is just looking for that as well and it will (or at least should) be less complicated.

That is at least my opinion, anyway. If you do insist on continuing with her, then at the very least just make it 100% clear that you want nothing more than a sexual relationship. If you are basically beating her over the head with that fact and she chooses to ignore you and expect more anyway, then that is her fault. I still personally think the right thing to do would be to just let her go since you know you don't want what she does, but at least if you insist on proceeding, do so making yourself 100% clear.

Good luck to you both.

[goodboy]

Thanks very much to all of you.
I think best thing to do is to leave this as just friends without any sex involved.
Thanks again.

[lovebroken]

I think you both should move on and find new partners. Don't go for sex with an ex it isn't worth the heartaches or headaches.

[pcmaster]

Indeed sex with ex will make it just harder to move on.