The Friends Dabockle

[navybones]

Well, this is my first post here, me being the social bee that I am require advice from multiple angles and no offense to most men, but I've found their advice to be a bit hopeless. Just a little about me for starters before I get into my situation:

I'm 21 years old, I'm active duty Navy, serving overseas in Japan. I'm essentially a young buck with overly high standards in women, I play the role of the quintessential nice guy (courtesy of a strict father) with a slight attitude and have an outrageous sense of humor. But that's neither here or there:

Story of my life: Guy meets girl, girl likes guy, girl and guy become friends, guy watches girl date guys while holding out for girl, girl always returns to guy, only to find new guy to date.

I'm used to this. But certain things have changed. The long story is as follows; I met a girl in high school we've been close friends for 6+ years (known each other since elementary however), and I want something more. We've spent the last few months doing nothing but lay out the perfect mate to each other, (essentially describing each other w/o saying it naturally). One day I got tired of it, and asked her what we're doing, as we basically end up having the same conversation every night, and every night ends in a few compliments and a goodnight, nothing more nothing less. Her response was that she had the same thoughts but that she didn't want to risk loosing what we had as she trusts me more then anyone else.

The other issues:
> I'm in the military serving overseas and still have a year left before I'm up for orders, she's back in CA.
> She met a guy last week - he is essentially me to the tee (former Navy) +5 years.
> I'm coming back to visit CA after 3 years of being gone. We have plans already including a date (yes she called it a date), but given our previous conversation I'm not sure whether to honor her requests or pursue her. I'm an honorable guy, but letting such compatibility go seems like such a waste.

All ears at this point.

[Yggdrasil]

Question: what's the pattern you see re-occurring here and what is the common denominator in this pattern?

[navybones]

Common pattern I see with her is she keeps coming back to me regardless and that despite what she said that there are most definitely feelings there.

Now I should also mention that it's not like this girl is out to date the asshole and comes back to me for the shoulder to cry on. This girl plays for keeps (like I do). She's been in maybe 4 relationships total, all well over a year and all ending for stupid reasons (none of them her fault) just guys who kept being an asshole very secretive.

Also curious is the fact that she likes this other guy, who ironically is a carbon copy of me except older. (Even he's long distance. He's got me beat though 2 hours by car vice 14 via air, lol)

[Gigabitch]

:sigh: The old "I don't want to ruin the friendship" routine. Jeeze Louise.

Okay, look here. You're NOT her friend, because you want her romantically. Understand? Your friendship is a farce at this point. You should come up with another descriptive phrase for your relationship. "Emotional tampon" comes to mind. See also: Plan B Guy, Back Burner, Fallback, Placeholder and Little Bitch.

Stop this. Look at it this way: it's insulting to her. If she were really all that attractive/ wonderful/ compelling, you'd pursue her and damn the consequences, right? Instead, you're settling for this vanilla pudding kind of thing where you're "friends".

No. Light a fire, man. You can be a sweet gentleman, but be one that wants her and wants her BAD, okay? Chicks respond to this. Trust me.

[navybones]

Well like I said, I have plans with her while I'm on leave there in July. She's requested quite a bit of time with me. I don't think I'm going to have any issues in the opportunity department. I've sorta made up my mind as to what I'm going to do anyways, just helps to have different objective views to get a better tactical picture (if I can be so military in saying that, lol).

[Gigabitch]

As soon as you see her, drop your luggage, put your arms around her and give her a big, fat kiss that lasts for about two minutes. That should send a message.

[navybones]

Ok, lets do a bit of ORM (Operational Risk Management).

Best/Worst case scenario, go!

[Gigabitch]

Best: She falls instantly, irrevocably in love.

Worst: You get slapped and your faux friendship suffers.

Worth the risk?

[navybones]

Considering I'll be 4,000 miles away +18 days "K-Day," yes. Yes it is.


Thanks for being blunt, tired of the questionable ifs/ands/buts.

[navybones]

Forgot: Airport not an option, landing in one city, driving back home after I land. Opportunity unknown at this time.

[kesson]

dont be a donk