i think its really over, and i dont think i can handle being here anymore.

[lost_soul1]

i dont know what to do anymore. my boyfriend and i broke up a few weeks ago... but i dont know how to deal with this anymore. i dont think he loves me anymore. even when we were broken up, he used to say i love you on the phone all the time, and call me baby... (we didnt break up for good... we broke up temporarily and we were just trying to get our shit together so we could grow up and move out and get our own thing goin on)... but now for some reason he just stopped saying it. i havent seen him in over a week now. and ive never not seen him for that long. we were going out for almost 2 years.

i dont know what im going to do anymore. no one wants to hang out with me because all i can do is sit and think about him. ive been with other ppl before, but no one has ever made me feel the way he makes me feel. he is everything i could ever want in a person and he makes me laugh which is so hard to do. hes the only person i could ever imagine having a future with.
i feel so hopeless. i feel like hes moving on, and i hate it. i want him to be happy... but i dont know if its with me... and all i can do is sit here and cry. i dont want anyone else but him. i know that if he is truly gone, i wont find another person. because before i met him, i said to myself that i would be fine being single, because im just not gonna settle for a half assed man like i used to... and when i was with him, even though we fought sometimes, i never felt like i was settling.

i dont know how to deal with this. im losing everything. and i dont think i want to go on anymore.

[Gigabitch]

When you say no one has ever made you feel the way he makes you feel, remember that he's also responsible for how miserable you are right now.

[dono01]

It will get better with time.

You need to get on with being a normal teenager.

[lost_soul1]

i guess i should state that im 20 years old is that still considered a teenager? lol.

and as for him making me feel miserable, i dont disagree, but i know hes not doing this on purpose, and even if i tried, i cant dislike him.
theres seriously something about him that makes him amazing. i dont know what it is, but it pulls me to him all the time. and i cant just stop talking to him.... because me and him were best friends before we got together... and even though im in pain, hes still my best friend, and if i lost my best friend... i dont even know what id do. i cant lose him.

[Gigabitch]

Did you neglect all of your other friendships in favor of him?

[lost_soul1]

nope. because hes always busy.

[lost_soul1]

just for reference, we broke up because i needed to get my own life, my own job, a car, and a liscense, and he needs to move out. also, because i would call him all the time, because he would always forget to call me after he got home from work. it pissed me off that he forgot. and pissed him off that i would call alot.and he also said he lost that spark.

but in his defense, hes kinda got two jobs. one is a very professional job thats amazing for someone as old as he is (21) and hes already making more money than some middle aged people (and nooooo thats not why im with him, i knew and loved him before he got that job). and the other job begins right when he comes home from work. he doesnt need to do it, he does it for extra pocket money. he starts his professional job at like 4am, and gets off at 6pm. then he starts his other one, and that ends usually around 10.

so hes always tired. and i can see where he forgets. but it hurts.

[lost_soul1]

and as for him saying he lost the spark for me... idk why it is. he says he know it will come back, but i think its because hes always busy and doesnt have time to do normal boyfriend girlfriend things with me.