How to handle this...

[adam95]

wow a year? thats way too long. yeah i agree LDR's cannot replace a relationship but i do think here in lahnna's case that it is just temporary. Honestly I don't believe LDR's will work in the long run but if its temporary and if its not too expensive to meet now and again then maybe it will work.
Well Lahnna it just depends on you guys really. Hope you manage to work something out.

one year man , how on earth did you do it??

[Junket]

one year man , how on earth did you do it??

We were friends the year prior, and during the course of our first year dating I saved money to visit her every other month.

As time went on I decided we needed to do something, fast, otherwise we'd have to break it off, so we took steps towards moving closer and closer together (big risk!) and...well we made it work.

That, and I had Loveforum to help me out more times than I can count.

The regulars here have pretty much watched my relationship grow from the beginning.

[Charlie Boy II]

Loveforum's like a mix of a responsive journal, a soap opera and a reality tv show.

[Raze]

Loveforum's like a mix of a responsive journal, a soap opera and a reality tv show.

More like Family Guy.

[VincenzoG91]

More like Family Guy.

Except we have more than one talking dog around here.

[what_now]

Hi lahnnabell, you might not remember me but you helped me out a few times a few weeks ago in regards to my relationship problems. The gist of that was my ex and I were forced into a long distance relationship due to jobs as well, and eventually things got to a point where breaking up was the right thing to do. Anyways I just wanted to say there's no easy decision. Before I actually moved, I took a lot of time to think about what to do. I thought about things logically, emotionally, combination of both, blah blah blah. And no matter what people advised me, I was still torn. I turned to my parents and friends, but nothing they said was anything I didn't already think of. Even months after I moved, I still felt like I didn't know what the hell was going on. There wasn't a gut feeling, no sense of I know this is the right thing to do but it's just hard. Nothing. I literally had no solution. Things eventually started to clear up and I slowly found clarity. So my advice to you on that is to be patient. If you're anything like me, you take action and want results. But I've learned that sometimes, the best you can do is to be patient and eventually you'll start to see things a little clearer (for better or worse). From an outside perspective, despite being in a very similar situation, it's easy for me to say why don't you guys just try to make it work. But I know it's not that simple. You guys might not be on the same page, he might not be as sure of your guys' future, etc etc etc. The best that I can really tell you is that don't be so hard on yourself or in a rush to figure things out. It sucks being in a gray zone, not knowing what to do, but I'm sure by now you know life is never that simple. Truth is, because you love him so much and at the same time love yourself, it's going to be a rough road ahead of you no matter what decision you choose. Of course, I'm always rooting for good relationships to work out and best of luck.

[lahnnabell]

If he and I are to stay together, I think developing some clear-cut goals is a very good idea. I don't want to spend a year in limbo, wondering when the hell we'll be able to reunite. I don't know how anyone could do a year... That would hurt so much.

I'm glad that I've already resigned myself to staying though. I agree that my moving without any source of stability or income will leave me in a very bad place. It's not really the best choice for him to up and leave without a job lined up, but he's still young and has yet to make those kinds of mistakes. It's time for him to start figuring out how to take care of himself.

Sometimes I wish I could just say I would be content to get married and be taken care of, but I know that I would never be happy with that alone. I love to work and I am determined to become good at everything I do. He knows I need that.

On top of all this, the Diplomatic Security position he has been scoping out has recently opened up. He knows a senior officer and could possibly get a recommendation that might help him get his foot in the door. If he were to get that position, he'd be in D.C. and then training in Georgia for 2 years. I'm really hoping he tries for that because he's been talking about it for a long time.

One of my former college classmates has been doing the distance with his girlfriend since he joined the Air Force. He's been back and forth all over the U.S. for a few years now, and is finally getting stationed in Maryland within driving distance of his lady. They've done an amazing job of making it work from what I can see on his FB wall. I'm considering messaging him and asking for advice.

[Gigabitch]

Long distance is excruciating. I only did it for eight months and we saw each other every three weeks and it was still living hell. I hope there's another way or that it doesn't last too long if you go this route.

[lahnnabell]

Long distance is excruciating. I only did it for eight months and we saw each other every three weeks and it was still living hell. I hope there's another way or that it doesn't last too long if you go this route.

Knowing your whole story gives me a lot of hope for the future. I know I can't bank on it, but it's nice to know that good things do happen. I feel that the emotional and mental beating I've been taking for the last several years is still on its way to being redeemed too. I've been accruing karma points like there is no tomorrow. Someday it will all come back to me. I still can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I know I'm getting there.

[lahnnabell]

Boyfriend texted me at the end of my shift asking me not to come over tonight. He said he needs some alone time. I figured he would. Still sucks though. I called him and simply asked that he not resign himself to a conclusion without talking to me first. He said he wasn't sure what there was to talk about. I asked him to please keep an open mind, and to please not shut me out. He said he would try his best with the former, and that he certainly would not shut me out. He also said that he's not mad at me, in fact, he's very proud of me. He's going to take the weekend to do some thinking.