cheated on my boyfriend

[Love'sReject]

Who said she's callous? And "cheater" sounds like she's done it more than once, which also was never stated on this thread. Finally, there may have been other reasons for her to not call things off before cheating, other than her being spineless.

Most importantly, such a message is useless in this situation. What she needs to communicate are the actual reasons for the break up. After that, they part ways, and it's just over.

Anybody who cheats is "callous" and I hate them. I hate and have no respect for cheaters.

The actual reason she is breaking up is because she SHOULD be wanting to do the right thing; not lay blame on the guy with a slew of lousy reasoning. She felt bored; she cheated. Now she can OWN UP TO IT.

[searock]

She cheated. That alone is enough for a guy to hear.

It is not: it would lead him to believe that she is breaking up with him because she cheated on him, which is not the case.

not lay blame on the guy

She wouldn't be laying any blame on him. She would be stating the "honest to God truth": the relationship has gone stale, she isn't in love with him anymore, she feels more like a mother than a girlfriend to him, so it's break up time.

[Love'sReject]

But I guess raping a guy's heart is fine. La di da.

[It is not: it would lead him to believe that she is breaking up with him because she cheated on him, which is not the case.

Yeah, you're right; we know she's going to follow your advice and not assume responsibility.

"Yeah, I cheated on you, limpdick, because I was like bored and OMG this hottie at the bar..."

[searock]

She cheated on him because she wasn't emotionally invested in him anymore, and hadn't been for a long time.

[Love'sReject]

She cheated and is being fed reasons to OK it in her mind now and in the future. There's been no semblance of consequence in any but my posts. Whatever the psychoanalysis, she has the free will to do the right thing and own up to her mistake now and learn from it, not learn to sweep it under the rug and leave room to do it agaiin.

[searock]

Whatever dude. After all you've never been in a relationship (stale or not), you wouldn't understand.

[Love'sReject]

I've been in a relationship and to my knowledge I wasn't cheated on (then again her mind probably worked like yours; " If he doesn't know about it, it didn't happen")

[Love'sReject]

Besides, cheating is one of the few things in life that are ABSOLUTE; black and white.

[Wakeup]

She cheated on him because she wasn't emotionally invested in him anymore, and hadn't been for a long time.

Thats no reason to cheat ~ it's an excuse to though.

CG.. You should work on your lack of selfworth and insecurity issues and hone your personal boundaries or you will more than likely end up doing this again.

I've been in a relationship and to my knowledge I wasn't cheated on (then again her mind probably worked like yours; " If he doesn't know about it, it didn't happen")

We understand your position on cheating by this point. However ^^^nThat is not the reason for not telling him. Why should she hurt him anymore than he's going to be when she dumps him? Give me one good reason for her doing that?

[searock]

A relationship with no sex... a kid's relationship. And as I said, this thread is NOT about whether cheating is right or wrong.

Wakeup, yes, she should have stopped herself. Her mistake that night was to not stop herself. But she still would have wanted to go home with that guy, and that itself is an indication that the relationship had died long before that night. The biggest mistake was that of not breaking up as soon as she realized that she was done with the relationship.

I agree with the rest of your post, she should learn from this experience.

[Love'sReject]

not all relationships need sex. Now who's a kid?

[searock]

not all relationships need sex.

Adult romantic relationships do.

[Love'sReject]

That's BS, and ageist.

[Wakeup]

A relationship with no sex... a kid's relationship. And as I said, this thread is NOT about whether cheating is right or wrong.

Wakeup, yes, she should have stopped herself. Her mistake that night was to not stop herself. But she still would have wanted to go home with that guy, and that itself is an indication that the relationship had died long before that night.

Sorry.. still no reason to cheat.

The biggest mistake was that of not breaking up as soon as she realized that she was done with the relationship.

Well, I'm of the opinion that the biggest mistake was putting herself in that position when she was in a relationship. Comraderie for a friend is an ill excuse to agree to sleep in the same bed with another man. Her friend was single, made a decision. CG should have taken a cab home or at the very least, slept on the couch. Then, when she realized what she was missing.. break up with LD guy and pursue bar-guy.

I agree with the rest of your post, she should learn from this experience.

Yes and she should start by keeping herself away from precarious situations ~ particularily when she is attracted to the person. We're only human afterall so why temp ourselves with those that we are attracted to?

[Love'sReject]

Finally, a voice of reason (that isn't ME).