Do you think I'm naive?

[edpjrr]

if you want male friends-just go ahead. Nobody cares really but your boyfriend might.

I don't have a boyfriend at this moment,but back in the day when I was dating my ex-bf,every time I hanged out with my male friends,he just got jealous....I think he was just being insecure.

[edpjrr]

OP, just for the sake of science... why don't you ask each of your guy friends if they are interested in having sex with you. Just flat out ask each one, and take note of their reactions. You will be enlightened.

Good question! If I had the guts to do it,I would have done it instead of asking questions on this forum.

To be honest,I don't want to embarrass myself by asking them "Hey,do you want to have sex with me?"
This would give them a wrong impression that I'm interested in them or I want to have sex with them.This would definitely make things awkward.

Even if I had the guts to ask them,do you think all of them would be very honest with me?

[bearz]

Somehow I have a feeling that experiment would backfire and mess with your friendships.

[edpjrr]

He is CLEARLY interested in you, how can you possibly not see it? No guy talks with a girl for 7+ hours every day just because he wants to be friends. He is sad about his breakup and is using you (not necessarily with bad intentions) as an emotional rebound, and surely hopes one day there will be something physical between you two.

I'm probably too insensitive when it comes to this.I'm not sure if he's interested in me cos he hasn't asked me out yet.Also,he told me he still hasn't got over his ex-gf.He told me he's lonely and bored.It's very normal for a lonely and bored person (who has nothing better to do at home)to find someone to talk to.He said,"I talk to you cos you're really good at talking".So I can see the reason why he talks to me.

He hasn't got over his ex-gf yet..so how can he be interested in me? Well,I could be wrong.But please tell me what I think is wrong cos I'm very insensitive and inexperienced when it comes to this sort of thing.

"and surely hopes one day there will be something physical between you two"<---he didn't say he wants to have sex with me.Why are you so sure he hopes there will be something physical between us??

I'm sorry for asking so many questions cos I'm hopeless when it comes to relationships and I really want to learn more about this

[bearz]

You have already said it yourself, only because you talk a lot doesn't mean there's actually a connection. I have caught myself thinking that there is something between me and someone else only because we were both lonely and had no one else. Once you get the attention of someone else you think there's more, I think it's perfectly normal which is why it's important not to get your hopes up and see what time has in store for you.

[edpjrr]

searock to answer your qs-the ten male friends i had as a teenager ALL asked me out at some point. they even took bets amongst themselves to see which one could score with me or other females in our group first. i was not attracted to any of them and to me they were just friends but men dont think that way..

an man who has ever tried to be "my friend" wanted more.

im not talking about my bf,s friends or my friends bfs who i chat to and get on well with. thats different. but men in general do not wana be close friends with a girl. they wana bang you or go out with you. im not gonna change my opinion on that. sorry

is there an exception? A man can be close friends with a girl just because she's a great person and they both have a lot in common instead of finding each other attractive.....

[searock]

is there an exception? A man can be close friends with a girl just because she's a great person and they both have a lot in common instead of finding each other attractive.....

Yes, it can happen, and I know it because it's been happening to me for years.

Try to picture your guy friends' reactions if you were to go up to them in lingerie and try to kiss them. You'll realize that you already know which of them "just want to get in your pants" and which of them (if there are any) are actually your friends.

[VincenzoG91]

I can't remember who, but one of our semi-regulars here at LF once talked about her 20 guy friends. After she got engaged, 10 of those dudes drifted away. After she got married, another 9 of the male "friends" abruptly disappeared. The one remaining guy seems to be a genuine friend.

[dickriculous]

I'm sorry that this is going to be quite lengthy,but I really want you to answer the following questions cos I'm quite hopeless when it comes to guys....Thank you!


1. Do you agree with this statement?

"Men do not want female friends. They have their friends, and aren't on the lookout for new females to add to their circle, unless, of course, they believe they stand a chance with her. In that case, a man will hang out with a female under the premise of trying to befriend her, while actually trying to get her to fall for him.If you want to know whether a man is attracted to a female,you should check who initiates the friendship first and how they become friends"

2. A lot of people on the internet say a girl who has a lot of male friends is a whore/slut.I strongly disagree with this and I think it's very disrespectful to say this!

Personally,I have a lot of male friends and I'm not attracted to most of them.I've never slept with any of them.I'm still a virgin!Two of them used to hit on me but I turned them down cos I only saw them as my good friends/brothers.Does this mean I'm also a whore or an attention seeker?!

I just get along well with many people,especially guys(I have a lot of female friends as well).

3.I have a lot of male friends and I'm close to most of them,e.g. good friends/close friends.They think I'm an interesting and lovely person.They enjoy talking to me and spending time with me.They value our friendship.

I honestly believe guys and girls can be "just friends" or platonic friends without wanting more (sexually or romantically) and I said this to a good male friend of mine..but he didn't agree with me..he told me I'm so naive that I think in this way.

He even said,"I'm sure your other male friends don't think in the same way.You're just too naive".He always called me naive...but why was I called being naive??

4.Some people say,"Any guy who is friends with a girl secretly thinks about sleeping with them. It's human nature"---Is this true?Does this mean all/most of my male friends want to sleep with me?How about if a girl is physically unattractive or even ugly? I was told I'm not ugly at all though I'm not gorgeous.

5. A close male friend of mine used to be very caring,supportive and generous to me.He even gave me a bracelet and a massive birthday cake on my birthday.I thought he did this just because he saw me as his close friend and I didn't think much about it until one day he told me he wanted to be my "friend with benefits".Then I just ended the friendship.Is this just an exceptional case? Can a guy be a close friend with a girl without secretly wanting more from her?

Can a guy be always very caring,supportive,patient and a good listener without secretly hoping to sleep with his close female friend?

I'm sorry for asking so many questions but I really want to know the answers...

Thank you!

1) I'm kind of surprised people believe this. Most guys I know have female friends. Some of them have sex and some of them don't. Sometimes having sex interferes with the friendship side of things and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes they actually become lovers and couples. A lot of times they don't.

2) That's retarded. Those people don't even know what a whore is. People need to open a fukking dictionary before trying to use words that are too complicated for them.

3) Let me guess, he implied or said outright that he was the one exception to the rule who wasn't just trying to get into your pants lmao. But truth be told we really have no way of knowing if your male friends want to have sex with you. Chances are at least some of them do.

4) This is an iffy one. Some would argue that there is a degree of sexual tension or the potential for sexual energy between any two people who connect in any shape or form, including members of the same sex whether or not they think of themselves as gay/bi. That said, I've thought about sleeping with several of my female friends without actually pursuing it and I was perfectly content to remain friends with them.

5) This one is more black and white than the other issues imo. If a guy treats you like that then chances are he's trying to white knight his way into your pants. He can be caring and supportive and blah blah blah without necessarily wanting to fukk you but at the point of buying bracelets and b-day cakes a guy may as well wear a sign saying "I don't know how to attract you so let me see if I can purchase dat pussy with gifts and white knighthood."

[searock]

I can't remember who, but one of our semi-regulars here at LF once talked about her 20 guy friends. After she got engaged, 10 of those dudes drifted away. After she got married, another 9 of the male "friends" abruptly disappeared. The one remaining guy seems to be a genuine friend.

Which just proves the fact that it *can* happen.

[edpjrr]

You have already said it yourself, only because you talk a lot doesn't mean there's actually a connection. I have caught myself thinking that there is something between me and someone else only because we were both lonely and had no one else. Once you get the attention of someone else you think there's more, I think it's perfectly normal which is why it's important not to get your hopes up and see what time has in store for you.

TBH,I do hope there's something more between us but I'm still waiting for him to make the first move....
Just wait and see

[edpjrr]

Yes, it can happen, and I know it because it's been happening to me for years.

Try to picture your guy friends' reactions if you were to go up to them in lingerie and try to kiss them. You'll realize that you already know which of them "just want to get in your pants" and which of them (if there are any) are actually your friends.

It's still quite hard for me to picture their reactions cos I have no idea whether they find me attractive....and it's not my nature to flat out ask them whether they find me attractive or else I would look like an idiot LOOOL

[Wakeup]

Which just proves the fact that it *can* happen.

It's the odds that suck.

[edpjrr]

I can't remember who, but one of our semi-regulars here at LF once talked about her 20 guy friends. After she got engaged, 10 of those dudes drifted away. After she got married, another 9 of the male "friends" abruptly disappeared. The one remaining guy seems to be a genuine friend.

I'm sure she's a gorgeous woman If she was ugly,she would definitely have more than just 1 genuine friend...

Well,but I think we shouldn't jump to conclusions.I'm sure there are other reasons why these guys drifted away.

[searock]

edpjrr, as I said, he is using you (I think unintentionally) as an emotional rebound. It means he isn't "into" you, but he likes having you as an emotional "pillow" on which he can count and that makes him feel somehow safe. I think he is attracted to you because, unless he is depressed or socially inept, a guy doesn't spend 7 hours a day talking to a girl he isn't attracted to.

I don't think it would be a good idea for you two to start dating, before he has gotten over his ex. Being a rebound sucks, don't put yourself in that position. I think you should stop talking to him and give him time to heal, otherwise he will always associate you with his ex and with this negative period of his life. If you two are "meant to be" and he actually likes you not just as an emotional tampon, then he'll come back once he's done mourning.