Background: While visiting my male best friend who lives out of state, I (45, divorced, no kids) met and slept with his best friend (43, never married, no kids). We spent the next 3 days together while I was visiting. Not just sex, but hanging out. It was another 3 weeks before I was back in his state and before I got out there he asked me to stay with him during my visit. I did and all was perfect. Again, not just sex. Another 3 weeks pass and he recently came out to visit on his birthday weekend and we spent a long weekend away in CA together. I keep in touch via email/txt and he too almost daily - but not excessive. We talk on the phone maybe once a week. Nothing deep, just what we have planned for our day/week/weekend. Talk about what we have done in the day. That sort of thing. I stated after the first RDV weekend that I understood he lives in a different state and the opportunity to sleep with other people may arise and me being the realistic person I am, just asked that he protect me if that does happen. He said, "fair enough". I guess that meant he agreed in some way. I have other men who want me to go out with them, but I wouldn't want out of state guy to do this - so I am not.
We get on well together. He says he enjoys being with me when he can.
I really dislike putting pressure on situations with questions, but I really like this person. In my head I tell myself to just go with it, see what he does. Yet, I think my mind needs to be put at ease by a statement of exclusivity. I really don't know how to broach this or even if I should after only 3 long weekends spent together since July and my statement about 'being realistic'.
- What is your advice from a male perspective? (40+ only should respond)
- Can I pose the exclusivity question? How should I?
Serious replies only please. I am only posting here as I need neutral/unbiased opinions.
Thanks