Starting to see my partner as just a friend, any advice?

[Xlesv]

I've been with this girl on and off for a while, it was mainly for the sex and we both admitted it. We've both cheated on each other in the past and now we've been taking it slow. She's into true love and all that so she believes I am the one for her but I know I'm not because we see sensitive things differently. She is completely in love with me and she says she knows me, but I don't feel like she does. I do like her but I know I couldn't fall in love with her, purely because of how irritating she can be and just how extreme she sees things. but anyway, I don't really have a problem with her, I once believed I was, maybe I am? but I honestly don't feel it. But anyway, the main problem is that recently I don't feel like having sex with her anymore, she'll always try to initiate it but I just feel put off and I can't be bothered. I enjoy the sex but I literally can't be bothered to go through the process of having sex e.g. taking off clothes, kissing her etc. Is this just an adolescent phase or is my time with her done? it's been about 3 years 60% of the time we were together but most of it was arguments over me speaking to girls and what not. Don't get me wrong here, I'm not the cheating type, I just want to find a girl that I can have intellectual conversations with and we can both understand each other.

Anyway, has anybody got any advice to all my rambling?

Sorry if this is in the wrong section.

[LifeInflux]

If you feel she doesn't know the real you.. then show her the real you... put yourself out there and she can decide whether she likes it or not... if you seriously want things to work, you have to commit to putting in your true self... if you feel like you can't do that, then maybe it is time to move on because you'll never trust her with the person you actually are.


You've both cheated on each other so it doesn't make for a good relationship in the first place... but if you want to make it actually work... you have to be honest with her and yourself.

[smackie9]

You don't feel it you don't feel it...it happens, it's a thing that happens naturally. When you have a so so relationship and find yourself being unfulfilled intellectually and emotionally you loose that important connection with each other.....that's why you get on each others nerves, argue, you get turned off, don't find them desirable, so you have no interest in sex, no interest in being with them period. She's hanging on because she is insecure, doesn't think she can do better and is afraid to be alone, you stay out of guilt and are afraid to hurt her. Not really good enough reason to stick it out. Your relationship has always been weak, so I don't see why you need to "work" on something that really isn't worth fixing. You both will find happiness seeking out someone that is more equally matched and will fulfill your expectations best.

[4 ratties]

Sounds like a big waste of time for you both.