Hi everyone
I'll try to be clear and concise. My English isn't perfect, sorry for the mistakes.
I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 2 years and a half. We met when we were both 20, and since then things have always been pretty nice between us.
Unfortunately, this year, we live in different countries, and things started to change.
We often have arguments because she's not happy with my behavior : I'm too distant, don't send her enough messages and proofs of love. All in all, she thinks I don't love her as much as she does. She's also quite jealous and don't want me to have too much contact with other girls. These problems have always existed, but this year they're just more visible.
I've always told her she shouldn't worry because I would never cheat on her or feel attracted by other girls. I do love her, and I would be totally isolated without her
A few weeks ago I met a girl from the country I live in, and something happened. We saw each other regularly, we spoke a lot, and I started to develop strong feelings for this girl.
As I felt something went wrong, I explained to this girl that we shouldn't carry on meeting because I had feelings for her and this was too embarrassing.
Secretly, I hoped that she said she was interested too, but this did not happen. She said that she understood, and that I should tell her if I changed my mind so that we can go on speaking together regularly. The first reason of our meetings was to do study together
As a consequence, I now feel totally depressed and rejected because I won't see her again, and because my feelings are unrequited. Furthermore, I also feel guilty because I could have cheated on my GF if I had been given the opportunity to do so.
I now try to convince myself that what I feel isn't really love, and I should move on and forget about this girl as soon as possible. But what does it mean ? Does it mean that something is wrong with my Girlfriend ? I don't feel like I want to break up with her neither, but I am obsessed with someone else.
I obviously can't say anything to my girlfriend, and I can't stop thinking of the other girl I became infatuated with. That's torture, because rejection and guilt are not easy to bear with.