Me and the girl at work

[Justsomeone22]

So this girl I work with and have for the last 3 years and I have been spending a lot of time together since my ex and I slit about 3 months ago. She knows all my dirt and I hers we confded in each other regularly ecspecially over the last year or so. We just recently started spending time together outside of work. Going to movies and dinner and out to clubs with co workers and such. Some of these things we've done alone others with a group depending on our mood. I recently went to her place to watch a movie with her while she was sick and then just last night she invited me over for another. I know she is interested in me as more than a friend and she has told me she is quite curious of me...also saying she wants to kiss me but doesn't want to complicate things. Now she has been in and out of a relationship with another co worker for going on 3 years now and she seems to tell me quite regularly that she isn't happy...now with her being unhappy and potentially afraid to move from where she is with him. I am wondering if I should proceed with things as if he weren't in the picture and see what happens or just leave it be...though leaving it be is quite difficult now because if I back off even a little she notices and brings it out in the open. I don't know that I want anything serious nor do I think she does at this point but I really think she wants a way out and wants me to be that out...which is more than fine with me...we deal with all the relationship symtoms and dates and such but none of the perks...she goes home to him and I to a "friend" for the night. So I'd like it to be something more steady with someone I actually care for and it just so happens I ended up feeling that way about her. Now we have plans on going out with a group from work tonight but I will be picking her up per usual...my question is do I make the moves on her since she is constantly inviting me too and if so exactly how do I do that without seeming over the top?

[Indignant]

i'd stay away.

[carl1222]

I'd run from this situation.

She wants to break up with her boyfriend and she's using you to provide her with assurances in advance that she won't be alone. Sure, breaking up is difficult and being single can be lonely, but lining up a replacement before getting out of a relationship is selfish and cowardly ... and it's cheating; Just because it hasn't turned sexual doesn't change that fact. Just remember, if she does it to him, she can do it to you some day.

She tells you she isn't happy in her relationship but you're only hearing her side of it.

You say you care for her, but I don't see much passion behind it. To me you come across as saying "as long as I'm putting in all the time, I may as well get the sexual benefits."

If you insist on pursuing this, all you need to do is tell her you would like to be her boyfriend. She'll break up with her current boyfriend the very next day. I hope you are not in the US because you are about to screw up everyone's Thanksgiving.

And what's worse, you all are co-workers!!!!

Do the right thing, Just, cut out the pretend relationship. If she leaves her boyfriend on her own, then maybe you could strike something up in a few months. But then again, if her relationship has been on and off for years, be prepared for the likely possibility that she will go back to him and cheat on you.

Good luck

Carl.

[UKboy]

ye stay out of this.
This one is definetly using you as a replacement to cushion her fall.