hmmm...so here we go...I am in need of some help.

[TADA]

A few weeks ago, I wrote a long post about a girl who is my friend that I liked much more then just that. We would always be in very intimate situations if we were alone anywhere, but she would never admit that she wanted anything more then to be friends with me.

Well, things have changed since then. Her boyfriend that she only knew through the internet and had been with for 2 years, turned out to be completely fake....and I mean as in fake pics, made his friends lie, etc. Quite the unbelievable situation.

After she broke up with him, I tried and asked her out, and she again told me that she did not feel that way about me. So I went on and got myself a girlfriend and started making other women friends. I dunno what happened, but one night at midnight, she came online and I told her I had been just out with another girl....then right there, she asked me out. I was a bit uncertain and taken back...but she REALLY was sincere...she even admitted to being in denial everytime she told me she did not like me that way.

But still, I was quite unsure that she would be able to move past her old bf and like me....but you know, I accepted, dumped my old gf and stopped seeing the other girl.

Now here is the kicker, two weeks later, she comes online and tells me that she cannot be in a relationship right now. She said she likes me, but she wants to be completely alone at the moment and doesn't want a bf....and we broke up.

Now I had been wanting to go out with her for the past year, so I got a quite a bit sad...why would she waste my chances of going out with her on such a small whim?

ANyways...now I dunno what to do...remain in her life until she is truly over her old bf...or not. Problem is, I am back to feeling horrible if I don't talk to her, and keep on imagining that she is going out with someone else everytime she doesn't answer the phone...so yes, my insecurities have doubled and it feels like I NEED her.

So yeah...what do you guys think I should do...and to the women/girls here, do you think I will have any chance with her in the future?

[Gigabitch]

Oh, boy.

What you NEED to do is cut ties with this hurtful person and go on without her.

Before I tire my fingers out typing, can you tell me if you are at all interested in pursuing that option?

[TADA]

Oh, boy.

What you NEED to do is cut ties with this hurtful person and go on without her.

Before I tire my fingers out typing, can you tell me if you are at all interested in pursuing that option?

I dunno

Everytime I think about not talking to her, or hell, just not being a part of her life anymore, I get extremely anxious and start panicking. I have this thing where my mind will kill me for everything....everytime I try to cut ties, I can just see her being happy even without me and not needing me for anything...and that kills me...even though I know it never should.

[Gigabitch]

You have not described a person that will ever be happy. She's a walking drama factory.

I think this kind of yo-yo treatment you've been getting from her will continue as long as you are willing to put up with it. I also think that you should look up the word "codependent" and spend some time thinking about what you want the rest of your year to be like.

[TADA]

You have not described a person that will ever be happy. She's a walking drama factory.

I think this kind of yo-yo treatment you've been getting from her will continue as long as you are willing to put up with it. I also think that you should look up the word "codependent" and spend some time thinking about what you want the rest of your year to be like.

I suppose...but everything I would ever do to get out of that treatment would be to simply push her towards just being with me and not being THIS whimsical..*sigh*

I know what that term means, but you know...I dunno why, I just FEEL like at the end we will be together. I know it is prolly just denial speaking but yeah...sad being.

It also might have to do with the fact that she told me she still likes me when we broke up...

[Gigabitch]

It also might have to do with the fact that she told me she still likes me when we broke up...

Unfair. She wants her cake and to eat it, too.

Here, this is for you:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYrT4cxvlq4"]YouTube - You Keep Me Hanging On - Supremes[/ame]

[TADA]

lmao...that actually made me laugh.

All I need is to go back to the confident person I was...I hate this feeling of weakness and indecisiveness..brrr...and I hate myself for getting dragged to this level.

[squirrley]

TADA, Giga is completely right. You cant hold onto to someone who treats you this way. Its unfair to you!

You have to let go. As much pain as you feel in the thoughts of her not being with you, think about the pain she causes YOU! Sometimes were better off alone than with someone who causes that kind of grief.

Youve got confidence, pull yourself up by the bootstraps and say HELLO world cause here I come! Just because this chapter ended or this door closed, that just means plenty more open up for you and open yourself up to more people who be genuine to YOU!

It will all work itself out the way its suppose to be! Trust me, I was in a situation similar after 10 yrs I thought omg how am I going to live, but hello, people came into my life which enriched me, and now I look back and thank GOD that relationship ended. You'll get there!

[TADA]

TADA, Giga is completely right. You cant hold onto to someone who treats you this way. Its unfair to you!

You have to let go. As much pain as you feel in the thoughts of her not being with you, think about the pain she causes YOU! Sometimes were better off alone than with someone who causes that kind of grief.

Youve got confidence, pull yourself up by the bootstraps and say HELLO world cause here I come! Just because this chapter ended or this door closed, that just means plenty more open up for you and open yourself up to more people who be genuine to YOU!

It will all work itself out the way its suppose to be! Trust me, I was in a situation similar after 10 yrs I thought omg how am I going to live, but hello, people came into my life which enriched me, and now I look back and thank GOD that relationship ended. You'll get there!

thanks for this.

But you know, that is another thing that is a problem...I am extremely shy around women.. I have that spotlight effect where every mistake I could possibly do, just seems to reverberate to an exhausting level. And I also over-think every little situation way too much...which is why for the past 19 yrs, I have never been with anyone. She was the only one that actually made me come out of my shell...and I know she is going through hard times right about now...I just am not sure if it is worth waiting at all.

[squirrley]

No its not worth haning on to a pipe dream, trust me. Ive been there. She is NOT the only woman out there. My goodnes, you just have to subject yourself to openess! Shy or not alot of men are, but that doesnt mean you have to shut yourself down. This is a great learning experience for you. There are plenty of women who can do the same thing she did, just open the opportunities. You cant let one person dictate how youre going to live. Thats giving up your own power.

Believe me, its not worth this heartache.

[TADA]

No its not worth haning on to a pipe dream, trust me. Ive been there. She is NOT the only woman out there. My goodnes, you just have to subject yourself to openess! Shy or not alot of men are, but that doesnt mean you have to shut yourself down. This is a great learning experience for you. There are plenty of women who can do the same thing she did, just open the opportunities. You cant let one person dictate how youre going to live. Thats giving up your own power.

Believe me, its not worth this heartache.

god...you are too damn right.

And like Giga said up there, she seems to love drama. I believe she is still stuck in that Cinderella mind set where she has to be blown away by emotions to really date someone...and she does not want to have someone that really loves her or anything. She loves that drama.

I just need to set my mind to letting go of her, but you know, I don't know any girl I could date right now...and going back to not loving anyone and feeling lonely...that just sucks.

But hey! it is something I must do right?

[squirrley]

You'll do the right thing for yourself. Second, its not important at THIS time to start dating someone else. It wouldnt be fair to her because it would be a rebound and someone to fill a void. It sucks being by yourself if youre NOT use to it. But believe me, after some time you will actually learn to enjoy it and see the things you DONT miss in a crazy unhealthy relationship.

This is a learning curve for you. Its a process in life we all go through to get to the one thats really meant for you. Stepping stones if you will. Take out of that relationship the things you liked and didnt like. Use that as a basis down the road when dating again.

[TADA]

You'll do the right thing for yourself. Second, its not important at THIS time to start dating someone else. It wouldnt be fair to her because it would be a rebound and someone to fill a void. It sucks being by yourself if youre NOT use to it. But believe me, after some time you will actually learn to enjoy it and see the things you DONT miss in a crazy unhealthy relationship.

This is a learning curve for you. Its a process in life we all go through to get to the one thats really meant for you. Stepping stones if you will. Take out of that relationship the things you liked and didnt like. Use that as a basis down the road when dating again.

yes, you are right...I need to learn to look past this mist I have put in front of myself and realize that she is not the be all end all person I want to be with. God...I already feel much more relieved now that it all is out of my system...

But yes, I hope you guys don't mind that I will stick around here...I like it.

[squirrley]

Thats the spirit! Keep up your chin and your confidence! You'll like it around here, tons of great people to get advice from and to just bs with too!

Keep on the right track and look forward to all the GREAT things that will come for you!

[TADA]

I dunno if I said this in my original post, or the first thread I made on this...but there is another side to the story...and that side is me...

Since January, something has REALLY gone wrong and I just have not been myself at all...I guess it was just that I began to really fall for her or whatever, but before that, when we were doing all those things together and I WAS myself, she would even tell me that she likes me more then her bf.

But yes, I changed. I somewhat lost all confidence I had and in return that led to me becoming clingy. I have done MANY things that now I look back at, wish I never did. And yes, even things that make me wonder why she still is talking to me. During that time (January - May) she would continually tell me that she did not like me at all in that way. But you know, as I said in the OP, I started changing back to who I was before when she asked me out....and then, when we were going out, I pretty much did everything to make her want out. I would ask her everyday if she was bored of me yet, and I would continuously tell her that there are better guys out there in some form or another.

SO yeah, I felt like that needed to be said too...