Freind Zone or not?

[DUKE546]

I am trying to get to know this girl better before I ask her out on a date. So I have been spending a lot of time with her but now I wonder if it was to much time. I caught her after class one day and I walked her to her locker and then to her next class, she just about died when I did that(aka she liked it a lot), I went to walk away and she threw her arms out for me to hug her so I did. So she has been waiting outside my class everyday after that and I walk her to her locker then to class everyday and we talk about random things and before she goes into class we hug, I melt each time we do , we also talk on facebook everyday.
I don't have my licenses and she does so I am reluctant to ask her out because she would be the one driving and it would be more like she was taking me out and I would feel lame. So I can't take are relationship to the next level(seeing each other outside of school). Then on facebook she tells me that I am her best friend and I really didn't know how to take it or what she meant by it.

So I am here asking what you guys/gals think of this situation. What maybe I should do to improve my odds.


Thanks

[TheTooya]

For one thing, asking her out doesn't HAVE to involve her driving.... but yea, be weary of the dreaded friend zone.

[thafallenzero]

Present yourself as a strong male who knows what he wants and that your glad to have her in your life. Wait for her to fall for YOU. Just add a charm in the equation, not just the sensitive good guy role. A girl CAN fall for a person just like you, but the key is that she also has to be ATTRACTED. Its hard to swallow but girls want a MAN. Not a friend.
So be just as nice but be attractive too, you have options for women, and you love her as a friend. Once you feel shes sorta diggin you distance from her a bit and see if shes gets jealous or if she just does her own thing. If she is jealous. Shes into you. So ask her on dates and see where it goes.

[DUKE546]

Thanks for the advice man, I am around her a lot, so I will try not to see her as much.

How could I promote my manly-ness and not seem like just a friend?

[thafallenzero]

Thanks for the advice man, I am around her a lot, so I will try not to see her as much.

How could I promote my manly-ness and not seem like just a friend?

Pretty much doing manly things I guess.
Lol.
Well myself, I go to car meets with my buds (we are all into import cars) I work out and I'm in a band. Cars band and workout are all manly things and you'd be surprised how much girls like hearing about them or can appreciate what you are into.
Um, just be confident in yourself. You are a leader, not a follower. Its a weird comparison, but attraction to a female is sorta like how lions are attracted to each other. They dont nessicerily go by looks. They look for a strong healthy mate that is confident, prideful, dominate and can protect her. Those are the things that make a guy sexy to a girl. Not looks (most of the time). Confident guys dress a certain way so you may think its just the clothes, but its the confidence. If your in high school or college talk about the schools youve been accepted to or the classes your taking and what your future career will be (if it pays well) and that will make you seem very driven and again, sexy. Put your own twist on it, I dont know you so I cant tell you exactly what to say. She will want to be a part of what your experiencing if shes not a super-entruprenuer herself and thats how a relationship starts.
And yes, distance yourself from a her a bit. Hang out with other girls. Make her MISS you. Once she misses you your time together will be more precious and she will want to hold onto that. And if shes jealous that your hanging with other girls, shes into you. Assure her that they are only friends, but dont tell her you like HER until you KNOW she feels the same or that it will be beneficial. Dont just take the risk. Sometimes things arent meant to be and what I say may not work at all, but it will sure help and is worth trying if you cant think of anything yourself.

[TheGreek]

I say: Don't contact her anymore via texting, facebook, etc. Make her try to talk to you and see what's going on? And then after you have a short conversation with her, like 10-15 minutes, give yourself a false time constraint and end it. Then call her a couple of days later and ask her out.

As for not having a car, so what? How far away does she live? Do you have a bike? You could ride to her house. Or, you could pick a place to meet nearby and use your bike to get there. Or, get a buddy to drop you off. Something like that. You can figure it out too.

Plus, about cutting contact and letting her contact you, it's a shit test. If she's interested, she'll contact you. If she's not, she won't and you won't be wasting any time. Good luck bro.

[thafallenzero]

I say: Don't contact her anymore via texting, facebook, etc. Make her try to talk to you and see what's going on? And then after you have a short conversation with her, like 10-15 minutes, give yourself a false time constraint and end it. Then call her a couple of days later and ask her out.

As for not having a car, so what? How far away does she live? Do you have a bike? You could ride to her house. Or, you could pick a place to meet nearby and use your bike to get there. Or, get a buddy to drop you off. Something like that. You can figure it out too.

Plus, about cutting contact and letting her contact you, it's a shit test. If she's interested, she'll contact you. If she's not, she won't and you won't be wasting any time. Good luck bro.

Agreed my friend.

[carl1222]

Well, I see I got to you too late to counter everyone who suggests playing games instead of being direct. Some girls respond to that I suppose ... be unavailable to make her miss you. My question is why would you want to be with someone who is not attracted to you for who you really are? I would agree with most of the posts above if you're just trying to get laid, but if you want more then why be with someone who gets closer when you pull back, or pulls back when you get closer?

Pretending indifference when you really aren't is not manly, and it's not mature. She seems to like you and she's willing to take the risk to show it. If you are really stuck in the "friend-zone" all the aloofness in the world is not going to make you more interesting romantically.

Don't go so far. Just avoid seeming desparate or underconfident. You can directly let it be known that you're interested but not a push over. If she's the kind of girl who is attracted to indifferent guys, then she's not the girl for you.

Carl.

[Only-virgins]

Well, I see I got to you too late to counter everyone who suggests playing games instead of being direct. Some girls respond to that I suppose ... be unavailable to make her miss you. My question is why would you want to be with someone who is not attracted to you for who you really are? I would agree with most of the posts above if you're just trying to get laid, but if you want more then why be with someone who gets closer when you pull back, or pulls back when you get closer?

I agree, because playing games only works if the girl is willing to play as well. Which in this situation the guy is called a "best friend". This only means one of two things

1.) She is not playing games (so if you do you WILL FAIL)
2.)You are on the friends list and have ALREADY FAILED.

Don't play the game, go and let her know what you think.

[Only-virgins]

P Cars band and workout are all manly things and you'd be surprised how much girls like hearing about them or can appreciate what you are into.

**** no. You fail if you talk a girls head off about cars. They ****ING HATE THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF THAT. Unless you met her at a car meet. None of those things are manly. Manliness is a posture and a way you feel about yourself. Women can tell, they are great at it. Most of the brain area that is used for logic in males must be taken over for this BS detection system in women.

[thafallenzero]

**** no. You fail if you talk a girls head off about cars. They ****ING HATE THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF THAT. Unless you met her at a car meet. None of those things are manly. Manliness is a posture and a way you feel about yourself. Women can tell, they are great at it. Most of the brain area that is used for logic in males must be taken over for this BS detection system in women.

I never talk a womens head off about anything.
Everyones opinion is different. The girls I have dated and or talked with TOLD me they think its sexy and a major turn on that I'm into cars, in a band and work out...
So I can only talk from past experience. Im not an expert. Im just a forum user.

[Only-virgins]

I never talk a womens head off about anything.
Everyones opinion is different. The girls I have dated and or talked with TOLD me they think its sexy and a major turn on that I'm into cars, in a band and work out...
So I can only talk from past experience. Im not an expert. Im just a forum user.

These are superficial things. I can't be in a band cause I hate rock music, guess I must not be manly. All I am saying is that those things don't define manliness. Otherwise being manly didn't exist till cars and music was invented. However I think a cave man is more manly than half the girly looking mother****ers today.

[vashti]

Well myself, I go to car meets with my buds (we are all into import cars) I work out and I'm in a band. Cars band and workout are all manly things and you'd be surprised how much girls like hearing about them or can appreciate what you are into.

I agree that many young girls (high school or college) would find these to be attractive qualities in a male, however I think you were more on target with the comment that CONFIDENCE is the key.

Duke - you should ask this girl to go for a bike ride or hiking together, assuming you are able to do that in your area. Those would be perfectly nice dates. And yeah, if you want to stay out of the friend zone, you should ask a girl on a DATE early on in the relationship to establish your romantic interest.

[pamela975]

I don't think she cares is she is driving. You should pick something that you think you'd enjoy together and just casually but kind of charmingly just be like "hey, so i was thinking we could ...(check out that ice cream place on rt 6) or something, you free later? and hopefully she will just offer to pick you up. otherwise just say, we'll i'm not driving yet but i'll be happy to buy you the ice cream cone in compensation. you know, break the ice. she won't care.

[DUKE546]

Thanks guys all this advice has helped a lot and given me things to think about.