He does not know what he wants yet loves me????

[Roymax]

Supernova, that was a brave thing you just did. I know it would be hard for me if I had to do it. It hurts to leave the guy you originally fell in love with. He was trying to change the relationship into something it wasn't and thought you would accept it even if hurt you. That wasn't love.

It does make one wonder though that sometimes when you meet a person of a particular character in the beginning they tend to stray away from it to become a completely different person you weren't attracted to in the later stages of a relationship. Seasons change people change I guess. Certain events and influences can change a person in a better or worse way.

[Gigabitch]

Apart from all this I have another question to the forum, Astrology, this guy is a gemini and i have been reading all this bad stuff about gemini's, do you think astrology does play a part in a persons personality type?

They have a subjective reality. They can justify any kind of bad behavior and will never, ever take responsibility for hurting others.

Just my experience talking.

[Supernova]

Yes it is hard, but I am standing strong for myself. I guess looking at the zodiac was for excuses too! lol This is a grieving process, right now I am so its good, makes it easier to ignore the messages, Yes the snake is messaging me. As soon as I stopped playing the game and sucked it up, he texts. However, because of the great advice I know why he is doing it, and I am not playing the game!

A good match, a loving relationship is not pain, hurting the other person, and playing games. So I Know the ugly truth.

Just wish he would quit the messages, I have had, do you still love me? -- Thinking about you, love you --- to jokes via text.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! go away.

[cmacattack1]

I know it's upsetting but I don't really think he is doing it on purpose. It makes it much easier to hate him sure but I hope you have a little understanding.

And yeah, I'm a Gemini and I used to not take responsibility for my actions and justify my bad behavior. Key words are used to.

[Supernova]

I know it's upsetting but I don't really think he is doing it on purpose. It makes it much easier to hate him sure but I hope you have a little understanding.

And yeah, I'm a Gemini and I used to not take responsibility for my actions and justify my bad behavior. Key words are used to.

For once I am disagreeing, I am the one he hurt, so why should I be "a little understanding"? People can break up nicely, a clean cut, not torture the other soul. I am not here to hold his hand on his self discovery when he has treated me so badly. If he had wanted tochange and needed help and we were together, sure I would be understanding.

I know you have come a long way and wished your ex could see it, I can see in your writings you have and you would be a good bf to someone now.

Sorry but right now NO understanding. It hurts and I am entitled to be angry. The man was not just a b/f he was my best friend so I have lost two parts of my life.

[cmacattack1]

Oh, I can imagine how angry and hurt you are. I'm not saying right now, but eventually maybe you will try to. I was just afraid you were going to turn into somebody that would get angry and upset at even hearing his name mentioned.

Anger will just kind of hold you down you know. Trying to understand and accepting that there is nothing you can do to change their mind and they have to try and understand and change on their own really helps though. It's like it's out of your hands, there is nothing you can do, so all you can do is move forward and not dwell on it. Ya know?

[Supernova]

I know what you are saying. i do get upset hearing his name, my work colleagues who have met him ask how things are and I just do not want to talk about it. I am trying to be strong, its easier when he is texting me because I know he is thinking of me. I have not had the opportunity to to talk to him and bring this to a head, because he has been busy with lawyers etc (apparently). Last text was busy with paperwork I am overwhelmed love and miss you. That was 3 days ago.

Why toture my soul? I have not responded to him. A part of me is glad I do not have to talk to him about what is going on, maybe I do not want to here its over, but I know it is. I want to tell him how I feel and what an ass he is, but like you said what would it do?

So i move on, but I am always looking at my phone waiting for that text. I cannot stop loving someone so quick, but I have thoughts of what an ass he has been too, so I am just all chewed up and spat out right now....

I am sooooooooo depressed.

it would be so easy to rebound right now, i have the opportunity, BUT I will not break someone elses heart just so mine will numb a little more. I am not that mean.

[LailaK]

Haven't read your thread in a while but just wanted to pop in and say that I'm proud of you for being strong

[Supernova]

I am trying very hard. the hardest thing is, hearing from him every couple of days, in a text. IF a man does not want you anymore, why can't he let go? why torture me.

[Supernova]

Well, I have had this thread going for a while now, I appreciate all the advice, the first week or so we are all going to hope things get better. I think you have to go through the stages of mourning, because you have lost someone, in my instance, it was not the man, but I lost myself.

Thank you all for the "wake ups". I am not needy person, never have been, but I started to act that way. Basically it comes down to the advice that has stuck the most.

1. If he wanted to talk to me he would.
2. If he truly loved me he would not be acting this way.

Facts, ugly truth. I am the better person out of this. Anyone with heartache has to take the emotions out of it and look at it for it is. Is it healthy? yes or no. I am not here to hold his hand. My ex (yes he is now I refused to talk to him its over), is an alcoholic, he chose not to have my support, I will not go down with him.

Here is to a new life for me. I walk the path alone right now but I am all the more stronger. Thanks for all the advice, I still hurt but I am getting on with it!

How do I close this thread???????

[cmacattack1]

That's where the understanding part comes in. He might love you, he just doesn't know how to express it or show it. Putting yourself first above the relationship has the illusion that he doesn't care. He may, but he doesn't have his priorities straight. There is a difference.

Not saying everything is okay and fixed now, but you don't need to write it off completely. It takes away the pain quicker sure, but you don't know what the future holds.

[Supernova]

I totally agree cmacattack1 ,

The part i cannot deal with is the alcohol, it changed him. he does not want help, so I have no choice, it is not a healthy relationship for me. The more I pull away he texts, but its only hi I am busy Love you miss you. So he does not want to talk but is keeping his foot in.

Things take time to fix and heal, and if it was meant to be, there would have to be some changes i.e. alcohol etc, we also have distance between us. So right now I am being polite (as i am not a nasty person) but also being firm, that I am not a doormat. Time will tell.

The pain is real but time will heal that too. One day we might be able to be friends again but now its to raw. I think the lesson is to everyone, if you pull away, be prepared that the girl or guy on the other end may not wait around, if you are being mean. I pray he changes. if he does, wonderful, that was the man I loved.

:-)

[Supernova]

Hi guys, I started a new thread because of the most ridiculous situation that happened today - its under "Part 2 Biggest brain f--k even more confused. I know I deserve all the flack and abuse under the sun for talking to him, but I thought I was strong enough to say "enough with the messages and texts" sort yourself out.. But I failed big time... in fact I got him angry and all I was doing was saying I do not want hear that crap (him talking about strippers)... anyway read the other thread and be brutal, I cannot take much more anyway...

[IndiReloaded]

Think of him as a snake. He's injected you with his venom and it's making you weak. You need to stay away from him long enough that your head clears and you can get up and walk away. If he keeps biting you, you're done for.

Oh God, help me........ the snake just texted "What are you doing? talk? " I WILL NOT ANSWER I WILL NOT ANSWER .... but this is my opportunity to end it..... but I don't want to.... I am sitting here crying.... but I will not answer.

Remember, venomous snakes aren't talked to...they are hit on the head w/a shovel.

How old are your kid(s), Nova? You haven't said much about that, but I thought I read you are a single mom?

[Supernova]

Why did they invent anti venom then? Yeah I know, iwill not talk again to him it is tooooo painful.

My son is 13. Single Mom yes, however I own my home and I earn a very good salary.