Confused and need advice please.....

[Paige]

Hi, I'm new here, and going to try and keep this short, but I am really confused and need some advice....

After being single for nearly 3 years (after a very bad realtionship) I have started dating this new guy, and been with him for about 2 months now.

From the moment I met him I instantly felt very confortable around him, we are able to openly talk about anything and he already knows more about me than people who have known me for years. He is funny, kind, generous, wants to get to know my family etc - everything I could have wanted, but some of his behaviour is very confusing and a little concerning.

For example, he always takes his phone with him when leaves the room (even to go shower), we just had a weekend away to a house he rented with a swimming pool and the following happened:
1) His stalker ex texted him so he asked me to leave the car so he could phone her in private
2) He kept leaving the room on Saturday and told me in the evening he had been texting her and thinks she is going to stay away now (why text a woman, when away with another?)
3) He got a text from - another ex, seeing "if he was free that night"
4) Still Saturday night - he phoned his dad for a "chat" (1/2 hr later - he found me skinny dipping in the pool)
5) Told me that if his ex of 5 years who he lived with (now married with kids) asked for him back he would go.
6) We only had sex once the whole weekend - and wasn't after my skinny dipping either - apperntly another ex wanted sex all the time and it became all their relaitonship was.
7) wanted to leave early Sunday to get home to work, when I spoke to him Sunday night he was on his way out to a friends house.

He keeps saying as well that the stalker ex was great till she went pysco, which makes me worried to talk about this stuff, as he keeps asking me if I am going to go psyco on him. Also when I did try to say what I thought about the stuff he said saturday night, he totally shot me down and made me feel like I couldn't say what I felt.

There was good things at the weekend, like he said he wants to go on holiday to Italy with me in the summer. But the above list makes me feel really confused, I don't know how much of this I am noticing because I was hurt so bad before, but this behavior really dosn't seem right so early.

Its almost like he's treating more than a friend than a lover, and I can't help but wonder where the honeymoon period has gone?

I really don't know if I should just call it quits now, or wait and see if things improve? I know that if I do end it now, I will really regret it.

[bluesummer]

5) Told me that if his ex of 5 years who he lived with (now married with kids) asked for him back he would go.

This says it all to me. Not only does he THINK this, he's verbalized it to you. So basically he's telling you that he's having fun with you for now but you're not really a priority. You're only 2 months in, I say cut your losses and ditch him.

This isn't a challenge to get you to try harder to win him over. You deserve better than someone who tells you flat out that you're #2.

[IncognitoSir]

Sounds like he has some very unhealthy ties to his ex. That list of bad behavior you made of him would make anyone uneasy in a relationship. Heed these warning signs, I would dig deeper into these concerns of yours. The fact that he would go back to his ex with the kids while being with you says a lot though! He still has feelings for her. You need to have the talk with him, he knows he's wrong, thats why he shoots you down when you bring it up, he wants the best of both world, you and he's ex(s). Better to confront this situation now rather than finding out 6 months from now that he still has serious relationships with these women and hasn't been honest with you.

[Gigabitch]

If someone treated me that way he would never, ever see me again.

[Paige]

Thanks guys, that was what I was thinking, but wasn't sure if I was making it worse in my head then it was beacuase I'm scared of getting hurt again.

At the moment I work overseas a lot a week or two at a time, and I really don't think I could trust him now when I am away.

I have just sent him a text to see about meeting up tonight, theres no point in dragging it on any longer!

Wish me luck

[IncognitoSir]

Thanks guys, that was what I was thinking, but wasn't sure if I was making it worse in my head then it was beacuase I'm scared of getting hurt again.

At the moment I work overseas a lot a week or two at a time, and I really don't think I could trust him now when I am away.

I have just sent him a text to see about meeting up tonight, theres no point in dragging it on any longer!

Wish me luck

G'luck, just be prepared for empty promises from him. Be strong and stand firm in what you believe!

[Paige]

My text said: "you about tonight? could do with a chat"
He replied saying: "Hey. I'm out tonight, but hopefully about tomorrow. Everything alright with you? x"

My brain is screaming who is he out with, why not actually say? I think I'm in for another sleepness night as I feel like I'm putting sorting this out, but I don't want to discuss it over the phone.