I feel like im slipping...

[qwertz]

Into this big dark and ugly place again It’s not just because of me and the bf splitting but a culmination of things.
I feel sort of like I'm drowning, I still can’t seem to find peace over my daughter, today I spoke to a friend who I hadn’t spoke to in a 18months or so, she asked ‘how are the twins’ and I didn’t tell her about my daughter I just answered ‘oh they are fine’ ..I don’t know, it just really bothered me.

I love my son more than the world, but I'm finding him increasingly hard to ‘deal’ with. His tantrums are violent and physical, in the last month alone he has given me a black eye and broken my nose- they were both accidental but still. It’s so frustrating that he just doesn’t understand anything- or hardly anything, he is so mentally and physically exhausting that some days I shut the door and just sob for a few minutes, then recompose myself and carry on as before. I don’t feel like I can’t cope, but I have no family support network and no friends that can deal with his behaviours...well I did have one, but not anymore I guess.

I don’t want to carry on with this slide, as I feel like soon I won’t be able to get back up again; I just don’t know how to stop myself

[vashti]

Have you considered joining a support group for families with autistic children? You need a REAL source of support - not some guy who is angling to get in your pants, especially since you seem to be especially vulnerable and unable to act in your own best interests at this time.

[qwertz]

Yep, im a member of the only support group local to me, they only meet once per school term around my area, i go to them when i can. But tbh I dont find them much help.

[Aeradalia]

Vashti's right... support groups can help generate new ideas, offer the emotional support you need, and give you a place to vent.

I'd be a complete mess if it weren't for DBSA meetings and NAMI.

....

Have you tried looking up online support groups? Usually they have chatrooms and forums catered specifically for your needs.

[qwertz]

You definitely CAN cope, qwerty. Like vashti said, you should look into getting some organized support

Get your boyfriend to care for your son a couple days a week or something, and just take some time off

Im not with him anymore.

Believe me, i would take the time off if i could, but even his father is now starting to seriously struggle with him.

[dewilliams2]

I'm so sorry your having so much trouble....I think maybe you should go see a counselor...I read somewhere else you'd stopped seeing therapy but I think you should resume that...maybe even look into getting on an anti-depressant.

I do really feel for you...if I were closer I would help you out...I'd at least help ya clean your house or something. I know raising a child is hard, raising a child alone is harder but then raising a child with special needs is unimaginable to me.

You can get through this...its just a bad place.

I know you said you fought with your bf, maybe give him a call and even if he isn't prince charming maybe he can offer you a little bit of support right now.

My gf is a single mom and I go over and clean her house every once in awhile and make sure her car is in good running condition...just anything I can to make it easier on her and she told me she really appreciates me doing those things for her....maybe your bf could help you pick up some of the slack.

Honestly though it sounds like you could use a day or two off from your son. I know you love him but that is a lot of responsibility to bare and right now your feeling very overwhelmed. Have you considered finding a babysitter that is capable of handling him and catering to what he needs? I know one of the problems with autism is that they don't always take to new people very well but there are trained professionals that I'm sure could offer you some help.

[qwertz]

the bf cheated on me, i wont be taking him back.

[Asip4u]

I don't think you should ask that fool for any sort of help. He can just make things even worse. I do agree on maybe taking some time off just for yourself. If that's possible at all.

[dewilliams2]

the bf cheated on me, i wont be taking him back.

Yea that is a dick move...you deserve better. You seem like a really great person who has just hit a rough patch.

It will get better and you'll find a guy who isn't a total tool.

Are you close with your family? Maybe your parents could give you a hand?

[misombra]

don't you get respite?

[dewilliams2]

Well if it makes you feel any better I was watching tv naked and eating a ham sandwich...a little bit went down the wrong pipe and I was coughin. When I recovered I got to thinkin...that would be an awful way to be found dead.

Can you imagine my obituary...23 year old dies naked eating a ham sandwich....so now I've decided to always eat with pants on...as much as I dislike wearing them I think I'll at least wear them while eating.

Don't know if that will make you feel better but...at least your not choking on a ham sandwich naked.

[vashti]

I don't know what you have locally, but surely these people will be able to help you.

[url=http://www.autismweb.com/]AutismWeb: The Parent's Guide to Autism and PDD[/url]

[Illusional]

when you keep your head up, the sun always comes out after the rainy days.

raverboy

[Charlie Boy II]

Come spend a week in some aussie sunshine. I got a nice spot here on the beach. I'll teach you to surf, we'll get drunk at night.

[qwertz]

don't you get respite?

nope.

Im feeling a bit better today, i think the fact that he broke my nose a few days ago and had the tantrum of all tantrums yesterday, made me feel like i was out of my depth. He does go to a special needs nursery and the staff there are great. My mum is my only real family that could help, but she wont, she wont even have him over night- even though he behaves like an angel when we visit, it really gets me down that she refuses to help.

Lol, charlie- im heading to aussie land- but not for another 7 months!