Issues With My Male Roommate.

[lahnnabell]

I have serious issues with this dude, and it's been happening since we moved into the house in March. I have 4 roommates; two girls, two guys, and myself. Let's call this male roommate "M".

"M" was the person I responded to when I found out about the house being available. The house was in the process of being renovated when I found the ad, and things were still quite a mess inside so we were all waiting for it to be finished so we could move in. The first impression M gave off was that he was organized, honest, and forthcoming. Right.

Over the last few months, M has proven himself to be immature, spiteful, and disrespectful. My other male roommate "A" has had it with him and his childish behavior. So have the other girls as well. And I'll explain why.

M feels that because he pays the least amount of money to live here (smallest room) that it absolves him of having to be responsible for maintaining the house. He has never bought supplies (cleaner, dish soap, paper towels), but he'll use what we've all contributed.

He leaves messes lying around for days. He swept out the garage and reorganized some things, but left a huge pile of stuff and dust and some extra carpeting lying in the driveway for days before roommate A and I cleaned it.

My roommate "A"'s rottweiler Suki spends a lot of time outside in the backyard. We have two gates on either side. One day Suki got out and M had to go get her. I asked how in the world she got out when it had never happened before. M said that the gate on the side of the house doesn't close all the way sometimes. I asked him if he had gone through that side and he said, "Yes." I told him, "Then you're responsible for making sure it's closed properly." This happened twice.

On top of it all, all he does is talk about himself, how fit he is, and how much certain girls want him, and how much he loathes his ex-girlfriend for cheating on him with a friend of his. If this is the way he acts, then I get why she cheated. I'm losing patience with him.

I found that the only way to deal with him is to be blunt and brutally honest. I don't like him, and I hope he moves out at the end of August.

[Gigabitch]

I once had a roommate so bad, we all just got together and rented another house without him. He came home one day and we were gone.

[lahnnabell]

I love this house though. Backyard for the dogs. Ceiling fans in every room, new carpet, new drywall, garage. Spacious and clean. Quiet neighborhood on the outskirts of the city.

[Gigabitch]

Time to start putting dirty socks inside his pillowcase.

[Junket]

Chores in common areas, (kitchen, shared bathrooms, living room, etc.) are mandatory for everyone regardless of what rent you pay, and the size of your room.

I would start throwing his dirty dishes and messes inside his room until he wises up.

[lovesjoyajm]

As for paying for things - in my first shared apartment, we had a little notebook with four columns (one for each person) and whenever you bought something communal (cleaning supplies, light bulbs, potatoes in our case) you would just write the item on the left and the amount under your name. Once the page was full, everything was totaled to see who owed how much to whom. This way if your lazy-ass roommate doesn't want to go buy anything, that's fine, he can just pay you guys at the end of the month. It worked very well for us...

[Gigabitch]

You guys need to present a united front and tell him his crap has to change. You can't do anything about his unfortunate personality, but you can certainly address this bad roommate stuff.

[Junket]

Who's on the lease?

[lahnnabell]

I would start throwing his dirty dishes and messes inside his room until he wises up.

He keeps his door closed and locked when he's not home. I don't think he goes out except to run or go to work. From what it looks like, he has no friends to go out with. Not a surprise.

As for paying for things - in my first shared apartment, we had a little notebook with four columns (one for each person) and whenever you bought something communal (cleaning supplies, light bulbs, potatoes in our case) you would just write the item on the left and the amount under your name. Once the page was full, everything was totaled to see who owed how much to whom. This way if your lazy-ass roommate doesn't want to go buy anything, that's fine, he can just pay you guys at the end of the month. It worked very well for us...

I like your idea. The way we organized chores it in my last house was through our communal dry erase board. Eventually we assigned specific tasks to everyone. Each person decided what their biggest pet peeve was about cleanliness. Mine was the kitchen. I hate seeing a full sink and crumbs on counters. Another roomie got trash and recycling, another got bathroom duty, and so forth. We used the money we got from recycling on household expenses.

You guys need to present a united front and tell him his crap has to change. You can't do anything about his unfortunate personality, but you can certainly address this bad roommate stuff.

That's another irritating fact. Roomie "A" doesn't want to make the time to sit down with everyone in a house meeting. It is rather difficult because none of us are ever all in the house simultaneously. I hardly see the roomie I share a bathroom with. Roomie A has resorted to leaving passive aggressive notes and/or leaving dishes on the front step if he finds any in the sink. "M" has already tried making up excuses as to why he can't attend the meetings anyway.

Who's on the lease?

All 5 of us are.

[Petit Papillon]

We were living with one asshole last year. He always left his food in the sink or on the table,so once he has left his disgusting pasta-like thing and my bf washed the dishes upon it - a bit of soap never killed anyone WELLLLLL, on the next day our other room mate ,a girl, came to us and said "My God, P is disgusting,you know what he did???? He needed to wash the dishes upon my pasta,cause I wanted to eat it and it tasted like soap!!!" Me and my bf looked at her with the "I'm not guilty" look and said "Yeaaaah what an asshole he is!!" . Well... It's our secret till now But P was disgusting,he used product for toilets to clean the floor... When I found about it,we were short before moving out This flat was a crap and prove us right,that at best is to live alone You do the mess,you clean up.You don't clean up? You stay in a mess

[VincenzoG91]

Time for a sock party. Not to be confused with party socks.

[IndiReloaded]

Oh what an idiot. So he pays less rent. Does this mean he only uses the kitchen and/or bathroom only 80% of the time (ie. 4 days of 5 days of the week). I suspect his showers are just as long as everyone elses. You are discussing common areas, which are used (or at least available to use) and maintained equally by all.

Get yourselves organized (you other 4). Then, make a list of 5 jobs that need doing around the house like Lahnna suggests. Write it out. Likewise, make the table of shared items and who buys what, per Lovesjoy's suggestion.

(I had housemates as a student and we did both those things--we got along really well b/c of it, especially the repayment amount b/c some people really couldn't shop as often as others)

Make a note for him with this agenda and your next meeting date on all this. Say that if he doesn't have time he should let you know in writing which of the jobs he prefers. If he doesn't get back to you, he gets what's left.

If he goes completely passive-aggressive, I would let your landlord know you don't want this person renewing in August. Tell him/her you have a system for maintaining the house (show them!) they he isn't respecting. Say that you are all prepared to leave. Your landlord will agree it is MUCH easier to find one new tenant than 4. Especially tenants that are keen to keep the place clean.

[legend]

Tell him to get out and find another place

[mbdwaj]

if he pays less rent, then he should get less electricity, less water for bath and all. Less food and less area in the drawing room. What a complete jerk.... LOL.

[lahnnabell]

It was hopeful that he was enlisting, but I think he changed his plans once his parents said they'd pay for law school. Seems they have to bribe him to do something with himself.

I'm tired of dealing with him. The other roomies are tired of it too. His personality and personal habits just suck. My neighbor told me M left our gate wide open this time. Luckily, Suki wasn't outside then. Around the corner from our house is a very busy street. You heard about the police officer that died along with his family when the brakes on their Toyota failed? That was on Mission Gorge Rd, the same street just outside my house. It's a windy, hilly road that takes you up through the hills and mountains.

I'm thinking we should just tell him that he's better off living in a house with others that share his views. He also has some pretty bad behavior when it comes to personal respect. He'll frequently come up to my or L's room to talk about nothing. He'll ramble on about his ex, or his workout routine, and it's gotten to the point where I can no longer indulge him. L had a male friend/potential boyfriend visiting a couple of weekends ago and while he was downstairs, M went into L's room and laid down on her bed (as he tends to do). She kicked him off and he fell onto the floor. For some reason he was confused by this and she had to explain to him that he was being disrespectful.