Broke up with my girlfriend, confused and mixed feelings

[purpletwist]

To sum it up,

She wanted a break, We were fine at first after...things started to go real sour and we would both say things we both didn't mean.
Now we're not talking and she said she doesnt want me in her life. But throughout the two weeks when we first broke up she would tell me things like she missed me, i'll always be a part of her life. We stopped talking a few days ago, and im trying not to but its hard to cope with it. She once told me "ill always have another half" and she explained to me a week ago that i was always a part of that half and she cant get rid of it. She posted that two days ago again saying "there will always be that other half you may never understand"... Prior to this we went to a small get together with friends, my friends friend came and she got drunk and her drunken rage pushed me away while she sorted comfort for somebody she barely met. What does that mean :|. She also told me a day before we stopped talking that "you'll always be a part of my life, ill never forget"

Now as we're not talking, shes turning into a party girl and partying with people she met just a few days ago, its not like her at all because for one, she hated partying, two, she hated the scene, and three she really used to think it was stupid. So im curious why now?

Is it worth trying to attempt to be friends? Should i cut off all contact and move on? I need help and advice, these mixed feelings are killing me and its making things very unejoyable when the thought of her pops up.

I dont know if she still cares about me or if she loves me, if she hates me or if she even thinks about me...

Bah >:|

[lahnnabell]

Stop trying to be friends with her. You know that you're only attempting it in order to stay in her life, see if there are any feelings you can hold onto. It'll only create an emotional mess. One of you will get over the other faster, one is left hanging with a broken heart, and the other attempts to maintain friendly contact because they "feel bad". It just sucks.

She keeps texting you all that BS because she wants attention. Plain and simple. Keeping you hooked in case she wants something on standby. Don't be THAT guy.

As for the partying, again, she wants attention. Going out all dressed up, drinking, hanging out with guys... ATTENTION. REBOUNDING.

Don't for a second think that it'd be a good idea to stick around for friendship. Just cut her off and be done. You will move on much faster.

[purpletwist]

it seems really hard to just get over, i go out with friends and i have a great time but when i get home it all comes rushing back to me =\

[merdene]

You should just leave things in the past. Just move on, no contact, no texting. Just forget it.

[lahnnabell]

it seems really hard to just get over, i go out with friends and i have a great time but when i get home it all comes rushing back to me =\

It IS difficult to get over, but that's why you go cold turkey. You have to make the decision to get over it, or you can wallow in self-pity forever. Up to you.

[purpletwist]

Maybe i can have some tips from you, what did you do to go exactly cold turkey and how did you cope with it on the after effects when you were sitting lonely? Im split in two atm.

One side of me loves her, wants her back, wants to be with her, and wants to be friends
another side doesnt love her, doesn't want her back, and doesn't care if we're friends

[xxazurexx]

Yeah Lahnna is right, best way is COLD TURKEY!

Your relationship sounds a bit similar to mine in that ours blew 'hot and cold' as well. We'd speak, then fall out, then speak, then fall out....never ending cycle that I was sick of.

I went cold turkey...just cut him off totally and refused to answer his calls or texts. I didn't check his profiles at all, never did actually and still don't and have no desire too.

It's hard, but you can do it and if you really put your mind to it and stick to your guns! Keep reminding yourself that this relationship is unhealthy, that you are not getting from it, what you require and want, she is doing nothing more than messing with your head....good enough reasons and to just end contact totally.

[Natlee]

Move on, she obviously has. Even if she has hated all the partying stuff before she is clearly liking it now. She is a changed person and probably one you would not recognise if your were with her. So i would not try to be friends with her she only wants you when she is getting no attention from anyone else. So don't contact her no matter how hard it is, it's for the best. You will find someone better even if you don't see it happening now.

[cmacattack1]

The partying and stuff is her way of dealing. No matter how much fun she looks like she is having, she is suffering as well. We all want to look like we are fine without our ex and that we can live without them even if we are dying on the inside. Not to say that she "all the sudden" changed, I'm sure she is more or less the same person she was when you guys broke up. We have no control over how we feel, but we have control over what we do and I think when we try to do new, spontaneous, sporadic things, it makes us feel like we have control over our feelings (I'm fine without them, look at me I'm having fun).

But at the end of the day, when they are back home alone, guess who they are thinking of? You. And that's when you get the texts like I miss you and etc. etc. As hard as it is to not read into them, you have to look at their actions. Their actions are still dumping you, still being without you, and still doing their own thing. If she wanted to be with you, she would be. Not that now is a good time to be back together anyway because of how emotionally shitty you both are feeling because things will be back to normal in a blink of an eye and she'll want out again. But you get my drift, right?

They are right: she says these things because she wants to feel like she hasn't lost you. She wants to have you around as a cushion so to speak so she doesn't have to do this alone. She wants options, and she is only concerned about herself and her feelings. That's how it is in the wake of the break up, you are looking out for only you. So what's in your best interest? Getting her out of your system and rediscovering how to live life without her, even if you don't want to. Remember who you were when you guys first fell in love? Do you see yourself as that same person now? No. And that person that you were was who attracted her in the first place. That should be your goal.

And it's not going to be easy. You will hit highs and lows, ups and downs. You have to engraine it into your head that while she is the only one that can make you feel better, she's not going to, nor should you have to depend on her to do so. You have to push through this yourself and do whatever it takes that doesn't involve her to make yourself feel better. She is not the only person on this planet you can be happy with and you will realize this in due time.

[lahnnabell]

You should make a list of things that started to fall by the wayside over the duration of your relationship. Was there a sport you no longer had time for? Any hobbies? Jump back into them. Can you pick up more hours at work? Or is there a community you could join at school (if you attend)? Join a gym or utilize your school's gym and work on being healthy.

Filling your time with activities and new people is the best way to get your mind off of her. Eventually, you'll find that your train of thought doesn't automatically involve her. You'll be thinking of something you're looking forward to doing the next day.