In love with best girl-friend...

[Wde91]

Hey all,

So I've gotten to know this girl more then a year ago, in the first month we've seemed to get really close but nothing ever happened. Never even kissed her.

Because of this we have just become best friends. I often get to stay over at her college room for the night, we go to parties together and it seems she even talks to her parents about me. We even tell each other everything about how we're doing with the other sex (whether we're dating someone or not) She even told me about her f*** buddy who she has sex with about once a month.

Ever since I had gotten to know her I was in love with her. And I still am now, maybe even more than ever before. It hurts me so much to hear her talk about her f***buddy, like what she likes so much about him.

Her girlfriends already asked me before why nothing ever happened between us? because at some parties this particular girl even gets mad at me from time to time when I drink to much or when I'm talking to other girls. This makes me think she might like me as more than a friend. At least that's what her girlfriends told me.

I might seem desperate but I'm not, I've already had some girlfriends before but none of those relationships lasted longer than 3 months. But this girl is really different, and from time to time I really feel like she wants more as well.

My question is how do I get closer with her?
Should I tell her about my feelings for her?

Although this could ruin our friendship as well in case of rejection. What should I do?

Thanks in advance!

PS: I'm 19 years old, and still half a virgin.
She's half a year younger and not a virgin and her ****buddy is 2 years older.

[Petalcub]

Hi

I feel for you, its awkward I know. Im in a situation where I just dont know what to do, but I know who I want.

I really hope you get it sorted out soon, it feels really nice to have someone in your life that you wat, but so cruel at the same time.

Sorry I cant offer any more help, but Im just so bogged down in my own felings at the moment, all I can offer you is some support.

Good Luck, Petalcub x

[helpmee]

No one else has any advise?
Im in the exact same position so i would love some help too.

Thanks!

[JELEF]

I was in this situation for 3 years and it can end (somewhat) well.

I'm afraid to say you're probably in friendzone for life, or at least for a very long time. If it's all or nothing, give it a go and tell her how you feel (don't tell her you love her, just that you've got feelings for her). She may take it badly and be weirded out, cutting you off as a friend. She may be distant for a bit. Or maybe she's got feelings for you as well. But even if she has, she may be afraid to act on them. Women are often afraid to act on feelings with friends, even if they've been there for ages.

So, it's worth a punt. It'll kill you not to tell her in the end unless you begin to fancy someone else, but you'll not because you've got permanent blinders on. Tell her. Give her space and time if she takes it poorly. She'll come back round. I've been through this 3 times with my best friend and I'm completely over my feelings. We're like brother and sister or an old married couple who are simply no longer sexually attracted to eachother. She'll be my bestie for life. I even totaled her Volvo and she forgave me. It's hard to connect with someone on such a level where you're perfectly at peace and can say and do anything. If you're willing to give that up, go on. There are other girls out there that you'll fancy more. Trust me.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Be direct. Just tell her that your feelings for her have changed and you see her as more than a friend. It may make it less awkward if you tell her that you don't have any expectations of her, but I don't think it's necessary. If she doesn't respond with something you want to hear, go NC or LC for a while and try to drop the feelings. If you can't, just don't hang out with her as much or at all.

[ConfusedAlex]

I couldn't put it better than JELEF has. Just tell her. It will eat you up if you continue in the way you currently are. Take the plunge, tell her how you feel. If it doesn't go the way you want, at least you won't die wondering what might have been. And, given some space, your friendship will undoubtedly continue if its as strong as you've indicated n your post.