I was trying to think of why it is I am so outgoing and confident at work, but shy and self-conscious socially, and I think the difference is that at work, it is part of my job to help other people feel at ease, and I am really pretty good at it. The same is true for me in a party situation - I am a good host, but an uncomfortable guest. So I guess the trick is trying to make other people feel comfortable in a social setting, and trying to think more about THEIR level of comfort than your own.
How to approach? Hmm. I usually just make eye contact and smile.... and then just be friendly. It's no great mystery, but it sure feels like a lot of work sometimes.
Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?