What counts as cheating?

[twerto]

I know people have different opinions about this:

But what counts as cheating?

Flirting with someone else?

Dancing with someone else?

Other stuff?

How much?

I want to know because my girlfriend started talking to this guy a lot, texting him 20 times a night and giggling at his responses, etc. I think it's obvious he likes her and that she's enjoying the attention. She says they are just friends.

Would you be mad or consider it disloyal if your boyfriend did something like that with a girl?

[Poetic_Partner]

Depends on what you think is cheating. There is no wrong answer here.

Does entry-level flirting with the person next to you in line at the grocer count? Some say 'yes', many say 'no'.

Dinner date with friend? Many say 'yes', some say 'no'.

A handful out there will even say sex doesn't count as cheating so long as there are no secrets about it in the relationship.

It's a boundry you two need to work out on your own. What we can do here, however, is advise you on how to do that if you need, or on how to proceed if the two of you have incompatible ideas on the matter and are unwilling to find common ground.

-PP

[Confused81]

I think that if she is doing something with someone else that makes you feel uncomfortable then it could be counted as cheating..... BUT...... that also depends on what sort of person you are. If you are the jealous insecure type then my whole previous statement is thrown out the window as your girlfriend could be having a completely innocent conversation with this guy through text, if you are the jealous insecure type then automatically you will be thinking that she is cheating.

If, however, you are not that type of person and she is really having a flirtatious conversation with this guy (and you will never be 100% sure on that unless you check her phone which then puts you in the first category) then you should probably let her know that you are uncomfortable with this. But do it in a mature and adult manner otherwise it will probably turn into a massive argument, do not ever accuse her of cheating unless you have absolute undeniable proof that it has been happening etc etc.

[Gribble]

If a woman makes eye contact with another man she is a cheating whore.

[qwertz]

I wouldnt call it cheating but i would be pretty pissed at my bf if he sent 20 texts in a day to a woman.

[Charlie Boy II]

Long time no see qwert

[RockNRoll]

There are certain things that we do only with/for our partner. The most obvious thing is physical intimacy, but there are many other things. It hurts when a partner suddenly does one of those unique things with someone else. What are those things - depends on your boundaries as a couple and as individuals. So, as I see it, cheating is when a person crosses that line, knowing that his/her partner might be hurt by it.

Find a decent way to let her know, that you are uncomfortable with the amount of attention she is giving that guy.

[Boisdevie]

20 texts a night - I'd be furious

[xxazurexx]

I'd say that cheating, is anything they may be doing in secret with a member of the opposite sex.

Texting, calling, seeing someone, sleeping with someone, cyber sex, etc if being done in secret is cheating.

She is texting a guy 20 times a night and you are aware of it.

She's a 'clever' cheater who can get away with cheating, right before her partners eyes.

[broken-hearted]

I'd say that cheating, is anything they may be doing in secret with a member of the opposite sex.

Texting, calling, seeing someone, sleeping with someone, cyber sex, etc if being done in secret is cheating.

She is texting a guy 20 times a night and you are aware of it.

She's a 'clever' cheater who can get away with cheating, right before her partners eyes.

I really agree with you on this. My now ex. or I don't know what he is anymore, was telling girls he was single behind my back, now I found out (not exactly through the best means - but I did) and he claims it was nothing, he wasn't sure how he felt about us, but he called me gf and made me do all sorts of things he knew I'd only do if I was in a serious relationship with someone. Just said he wasn't flirting with girls only stating he was single and there's nothing wrong with that. Well I think there is.

[girl68]

To me there's full on cheating and then there's actions that are inappropriate and cross the line. Boith of which I am not cool with and would raise hell if they happen.

Flirting: not OK especially when it's been done with bad intentions (ie likes her, mad at me, missing something in relationship)
Dancing: not cool to grind
Texting, messaging, chatting, facebooking etc excessively: not OK this means attention seeking, therefore something is missing in the relationship.

Physical touch: withoutdoubt cheating.

[just-me]

I know people have different opinions about this:

But what counts as cheating?

Flirting with someone else?

Dancing with someone else?

Other stuff?

How much?

I want to know because my girlfriend started talking to this guy a lot, texting him 20 times a night and giggling at his responses, etc. I think it's obvious he likes her and that she's enjoying the attention. She says they are just friends.

Would you be mad or consider it disloyal if your boyfriend did something like that with a girl?

If he's a guy she just met and you don't know him I'd say LAUNCH!

Girls will usually not give their number and engage in future conversation/texting with a guy they're not interested in.
My ex met this guy, they started texting and even going out behind my back while she was supposedly on a girls night out and two weeks later she dumped me! Of course, she claimed he's just a friend, even after our break up. Eventually, a month or two later she honestly answered my questions and when I asked "why did you give him your number to begin with" she said "because I was interested in him".

Not good bro.

[Reminisence]

Answer is simple. You need to ask yourself: "What if my partner found out?".

If (s)he would disapprove, it's cheating.

If not, then it's fine.

I think it would normally be categorized as physical intimacy.

[twerto]

Thanks all,

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks what she did wasn't normal. I don't consider myself the jealous type.

If anyone's interested, I talked to her and I think she understands my boundaries now. And so does the guy ; )

[Lulu]

Good for you!!!! Glad to hear that you set the guy straight too! Good man.