advice on breakup

[R3AL_LUV]

Hello everyone I'm a first time poster and I wanted to ask you some advice before I did a stupid thing. My girlfriend and I were dating for 4 years until a few months ago we broke up because of some problems. At first we just kept talking to each other because I wasn't sure that it was serious because we broke up 6 times before and we always got back together so I just gave her some time. Until my friend told me that she was flirting with other guys so I contacted her and asked her if it was true and she said yes so I can get over you and stuff. She did not tell me that she has been speaking to this guy and that she likes me but she has actually asked to see me a couple of times and spend time with me. She said that she wants to be friends and values my friendship and everything and that she just wants to try other guys because she had been with me for 4 years.

I have been feeling quiet bad lately and I want to just start feeling better again because I feel that we can no longer ever get back together. I don't know whether shes trying to get back at me using this guy but they have met together on a friend's date and tomorrow I will see her. I have prepared a final goodbye letter to give to her but I'm unsure whether to say one final goodbye or stay as a friend. So I would like to ask you what should I do?

[reeba]

Its tough, but you need to do a clean break. Only in certain instances can you stay friends. And right now you do not fit the friend category, because you are emotionally hurting. When you get over that, then MAYBE you can be friends. But until you are 100% over her you cannot be friends. You can't move on to another relationship while you are in contact with her, waiting for her to change her mind.

Right now it still sounds like you are hoping she will come back to you. This is my rule of thumb. Once they eff someone else, it is 100% over. The relationship is dead. If they loved you they wouldn't be putting the final nail into the coffin by 'trying out someone else'.

[R3AL_LUV]

Thankyou for your reply. I gave her the final goodbye letter and told her that its best if we don't see each other so she called me like 5 times and messaged me like 6 times saying that shes still not over me and that she loves me and has done so many things but cannot get over me and that she needs me in her life. I have officially moved on and tonight will be the first night in 3 months that I will sleep with comfort and without a thing on my mind. For all those who are friends with their exes believe me tell them that you do not wish to be their friend and that you want to find your own life and not sit there and be there for them and watch how they will realize that they do need you and you feel much better about yourself. Always say to yourself that you are the best there is and face that you were a great lover to them and many girls/guys would want to be with you because of the great person that you really are. Most ex's take advantage of their ex's friendship and try to use them as left overs for when their new relationship doesn't work out. Believe me after every relationship especially after a long relationship your ex will not be able to move on from you within a couple of months and if they say they have met someone else then they are probably using that person as a tool to make you react and get jealous. If you broke up and your ex has told you to be friends then just say no and just tell them that you want to live your own life and block all contact.