Advice needed..PLEASE

[lynndogs]

I've made some poor choices regarding men(all players) in the past (see old posts) and determined to try again. I believe as I look back I could have avoided the heartbreak if I had asked the right questions in the beginning. Yes I always asked if they were seeing someone else or if they wanted to be exclusive BUT as I learned men can lie about that easily and not get caught.

What I would like is a list of "questions" I could ask that men would have a hard time lying about and getting away with. For example like asking them how they feel about me just stopping by their house unannounced. Or maybe how I would like to see them 3 times a week. You see it would be hard for them to agree to these questions and have another woman on the side. I just don't know what questions would be appropriate to ask and not come across as a control freak,

So here is my question....

Say I met this guy and we are past the first few dates and both seem to hit it off and want to take it to the next level(sex). Before I become emotionally vulnerable to a guy what are some questions I could ask to make sure he was single and not lying?

[smackie9]

Sorry but giving a guy a quiz is a bit much......how about spending more time with him, say about a month to actually getting to know the guy before having sex. See how he actually treats you, like introducing you to his friends, asks you to come along to hang out with his friends, how much time he wants to spend with you and actually show a true interest in you.

[Yet another guy]

Pardon my ignorance, but wouldn't it be better to have sex early to see for real if he's a player? Instead of dating him for a month, developing feelings, having sex and getting dumped then.

[smackie9]

A player gets in and gets out. If he has to wait and work that hard to get laid he isn't going to waste his time with all that romancing and having her get too involved with his life. My suggestion is to gauge a man's true interest. The more involvement he has in her life, and the involved he wants her to be in his life shows more promise.

As for your suggestion, she is trying to avoid throwing sex at them to see if the relationship sticks. She has already tried doing that and it seems to fail. She is asking what she could do to make sure the guy is genuine BEFORE she has sex with them.

Another reason why she's having no luck is the type of guy she is being attracted to.....sometimes making a change in choice can make all the difference.