Why are guys in their late 20's to early 30's having problems finding women?

[Mathias]

Ladies -

Let's say you make $25k, and your potential mate makes about that much. Why is it on him to make more? Why is that expectation there?

This is making me rather concerned. I make quite a bit of money - and I don't want to be dated because of that.

[girl68]

Ladies -

Let's say you make $25k, and your potential mate makes about that much. Why is it on him to make more? Why is that expectation there?

It's not on him to make more... It's on the both of yous to make more. I'd gladly make more than my partner, if I could.

[vashti]

Ladies -

Let's say you make $25k, and your potential mate makes about that much. Why is it on him to make more? Why is that expectation there?

This is making me rather concerned. I make quite a bit of money - and I don't want to be dated because of that.

If you want the option to stay home and raise your own child during their formative years (especially important during the first few years of life), you need to have more income than $25,000. It's a matter of practicality.

Of course, I realize that a lot of younger people don't think a child actually NEEDS a parent to care for them anymore.

BTW - even if you are willing to stick your baby with a sitter all day, child care is so expensive, a woman would need to make a good deal more than $25,000 for it to make financial sense to go to work, at least in California.

The reason it has traditionally been the male's responsibility to earn the money is because he has a greater ability to earn, and greater opportunity to advance in his career (unless he's an oaf) while women usually are the ones caring for children, missing days of work when the kids are sick, taking leaves of absence to give birth and care for newborns, etc.

[StarshipPatriot]

I might end the date right there. Not at the "where you work", but if someone asks for my income, Jesus.

Not sure what kind of women you're dating - I've never had this come up.

I run into the ones that I can't call golddiggers because what some girls/women would say is that I don't know the person that well. But, I do get ask about my income in dates.

Edit: I saw Vashti's post and I feel that this is true. That's why I am going back to school. But with a career I like.

[sookie6]

I think har-working and regular income is a major factor too.

Some guys work in very volatile careers, earning fortunes a few years and then nothing (real estate, banks..). I'd be more interested in a man who earn less but consistently.

My uncle family lives on his one salary and he sometimes work week ends when they need something special. He got his wife a nice second hand car and she was over the moon.

My cousin on the other end is married to a man who makes much more and she sees very little of the money

My point is a man's salary is not as important as him working consistently. But don't expect a woman who earns more to be impressed.

You need to date within your 'world' so to speak..if you go for high achivers you are doomed...but a lot of women will be happy with a settled and hard working man.

[ShellyZ]

most dates ask where do I work at and how much do I make.

That's rude. It's fine to ask what you do for a living, but it's not OK to ask how much money you make. These women have no manners.

Let's say you make $25k, and your potential mate makes about that much. Why is it on him to make more? Why is that expectation there?

I can't speak for all women, but I don't have that expectation. I don't care if he earns more, less, or the same as me. Maybe it's just because I don't want kids, so I don't have to worry about supporting a future family, but income does not factor in at all when I'm dating a guy. As long as he makes enough money to support himself and he's not living off his parents, then I don't care.

If you want the option to stay home and raise your own child during their formative years (especially important during the first few years of life), you need to have more income than $25,000. It's a matter of practicality.

Of course, I realize that a lot of younger people don't think a child actually NEEDS a parent to care for them anymore.

BTW - even if you are willing to stick your baby with a sitter all day, child care is so expensive, a woman would need to make a good deal more than $25,000 for it to make financial sense to go to work, at least in California.

The reason it has traditionally been the male's responsibility to earn the money is because he has a greater ability to earn, and greater opportunity to advance in his career (unless he's an oaf) while women usually are the ones caring for children, missing days of work when the kids are sick, taking leaves of absence to give birth and care for newborns, etc.

Here are some of the reasons why I don't want kids. It's nice to be able to live my life and date whoever I want without worrying about finding a man who earns enough to support a family. Why any woman would want to give up her career to stay home and raise kids is beyond me. They give up their independence doing that. I mean, if that's what they want, I'm not gonna try to talk them out of it, but it seems crazy to me. Do grown women actually enjoy being dependent on their husband's income? It just seems so 1950's.

[girl68]

Do grown women actually enjoy being dependent on their husband's income? It just seems so 1950's.

Absolutely! The reason is because those men who support them financially are generally dependent on the women to be housewives cook and keep up the home and raise the kids.

[vashti]

Do grown women actually enjoy being dependent on their husband's income? It just seems so 1950's.

Grown women usually consider it the family income, and actually, the state of California agrees.

[ShellyZ]

Absolutely! The reason is because those men who support them financially are generally dependent on the women to be housewives cook and keep up the home and raise the kids.

Haha, I think you're right about that!

Grown women usually consider it the family income, and actually, the state of California agrees.

I think all states agree that, legally, it is the family income. Meaning the woman would be entitled to alimony in a divorce. But the fact is, if the paycheck has the man's name on it, then it's his money, even if the law requires him to share it with his wife. Which means the woman is living off her husband's income, much like a child lives off their parents' money. Parents are legally obligated to support their children until they reach a certain age, but it's still the parents' money and their children are dependents. I guess there are a lot of women who don't mind being dependent adults, but personally, I would rather earn my own paycheck. *shrug* Each to his own.

[DoesntMatter]

Grown women usually consider it the family income, and actually, the state of California agrees.

California is a socialist shithole. I hope CalTechand Silicon Valley gets relocated and the rest of the fuccking place sinks into the ocean

[vashti]

I guess there are a lot of women who don't mind being dependent adults, but personally, I would rather earn my own paycheck. *shrug* Each to his own.

It's a pity some young women are not comfortable with inter-dependence, and can't trust a man enough to allow it, but I suppose if you don't plan to have any kids, it won't matter. And I suppose in a divorce culture, it is understandably difficult to trust in this level of interdependence.

And actually, I wasn't referring to the alimony aspect at all, but rather the fact that California considers marriage to be a 50/50 partnership, each partner bringing their own talents to the table, whether it be monetary or other. And really, if you don't feel that way about a relationship, it's best to not be married.

California is a socialist shithole. I hope CalTechand Silicon Valley gets relocated and the rest of the fuccking place sinks into the ocean

Aww, come on DM! Have you ever even been here? It's a great place to live. Come and visit me sometime... you'll have a blast.

[doppelgaenger]

Asking a guy how much he makes on a date is like asking a woman how many babies she wants to pop out of her vagina.

[MaidenMinx]

Shelly, I completely understand the not wanting to be dependant on a partner. It is a situation that a lot of couples would never be comfortable with and would not be able to make work. Sex, money and children are the 3 most common points that people will break up over. A lot of couples have kids and then sex goes out the window, then one has to stop working so money becomes an issue, then they disagree about how to raise the kids. DOOM!!

For my fiance and I, we had some trouble adjusting to him being the primary financial support. I think what has helped us is our sons health issues which have made me primary carer. I have always tried to keep up some hours a week working to help me have enough money for the day to day. All the bills and food get paid for out of my fiances main pay and then the money he earns from his night job and what I earn from my job, while being accounted for, we can spend pretty much how we please. Often how we please will be for the family anyway and we're very rarely blatantly selfish.

As for the OPs question, I have no ideas for you. Sorry.

[doppelgaenger]

If a woman asked me how much I make, I'd ask her how much she charges.

[IndiReloaded]

Do grown women actually enjoy being dependent on their husband's income? It just seems so 1950's.

Do grown men actually enjoy being dependent on women for managing a home and raising children? Personally, I'd be MUCH more concerned about parenting ability than income. It is dead easy for a man or woman to find a job and support themselves.