Almost the highschool jitters.

[MikeModular281]

Hello everyone,
My name is Michael. I am 28 years old. I am recently divorced; however I have been dating for about 3 years, since my ex-wife and I spilt. At the beginning of the year, I got back into my Christian fellowship. I had parted ways in the faith for roughly 2.5 years upon the separation of the ex-wife and myself. To give you a little history of my life, post marriage, I will admit that I was a little crazy for the first year or year and a half. I found myself running around in places that are completely out of my scene (nightclubs and bars primarily) needless to say I, "dated" if you will, about 5-7 different women in that time. However, my emotions were in the wrong place at the time, because I was very hurt from my divorce. Over the better part of the last year I have not dated anyone. I decided to just take some time for my professional/educational development and myself. I have been attending a bible study group for about 4-5 months; in this group there is a young woman whom has my interest. She is quite young, 20 to be exact, but up until a few weeks ago she was involved in a short-term relationship (about 3-4 months) and I only considered her as a friend in the fellowship. She is a lovely girl, with great qualities; she is also quite shy (which is different from every woman I have had relationships with). I have been very interested in trying to approach her and have sent her a few (less than 3 or 4) messages indirectly expressing my interest in her. When I say indirectly here is an example: I sent her a picture mail of a rose and wrote a lovely message expressing that I hope she has a good week, with lots of affection, -Mike. Example two, I am quite embarrassed of this, She posted a status update on Facebook with something to the effect of: If you love or have feelings for a person do not hesitate to tell them for you never know how long they will be around." I replied Aww "her name here" I love you, lol. Both of these attempts have been given the silent treatment but no change in the way she treats me when we have bible study. I did feel a bit awkward tonight after bible study, the whole elephant in the room syndrome.

I would like to add a footnote: I am quite sure that many of you may have me pictured as an overweight, socially awkward, nerdy type. I will say this with the utmost humility, that it can be said. I am not that guy. Actually I am quite the opposite, not to toot my own horn. Problem is, I just don't know how to approach this type of woman and frankly I am afraid of rejection. I have typically dated the opposite type of woman. The last time I dated someone of this caliber was when I was 18 and she is now my ex-wife, unfortunately.
Sorry for the long post. I sincerely appreciate any and all responses posted.

Genuinely,
Michael

[MerryH]

You didn't really ask a question, so I'll just share some thoughts.

socially awkward [...] I am not that guy.

Sorry, but those messages you sent were awkward and kind of inappropriate. And she ignored them, so I think that's a pretty strong hint that she doesn't see you that way. What makes you think that you might have a chance with her? You didn't mention anything about her flirting with you or giving you signals or anything.

And you're not going to like this, but you are substantially older than her so it's very possible that she sees you as "old." At 28, obviously you're still young, but think back to when you were twenty. A 28 year old seemed "old" to you, no? And there's some logic in that. You've been through a divorce, dated around, etc. She's practically a baby, with much less life experience than you. At 28, you should be more settled and have a career and stability. She's 20, and should be going to school, figuring herself out, and preparing herself for adult life. So just...let her do that. You're older and (presumably) wiser, so you should have the sense to not get involved with someone so much younger and in such a different place in life.

You seem like a nice guy. Surely you have more options than this young lady.

[MikeModular281]

Your absolutely correct. Thanks for the feedback. I believe I just needed a reality check lol. It's funny, I didn't think of it from the perspective that she probably looks at me as old, but that has alot of validity. Thanks again MerryH.


Mike