Need advice about roommie situation

[alicehardt]

Sorry this is a little long. You can skip down to the signals if you like.

I recently moved in with a guy I work with. At first, he was just someone I knew but wasn't at all interested in. But then I started to really get to know him and discovered that I'm developing a lot of feelings for him.
The situation is a little weird because we live together. Though we do work together, he recently applied to another job and accepted their offer. He seems to give me a lot of mixed signals and I wonder if living together has to do with it. Or do you think I'm looking too much into the good things?
Edit: Thought I would include our ages. I'm 25 and he's 35. I'm not quite sure if I can read him correctly.

Good signals:
I catch him kindly staring at me all the time, and when I catch his eye, he doesn't look away
Carries conversations with me all the time - and smiles and looks at me a lot when he's around me and talks to me
He offered and has been teaching me how to drive stick shift on his car
Spends all him time off work with me. He rarely goes off to be alone.
Seems to start conversations just to talk
Goes out to dinner with me almost every night
Has rubbed me quickly on the back
Has gotten really close to me and cradled my face when I asked if I had something in my eye
Has bought me small things
Invites me to things and shares with me all the things he's passionate about
Took out all the books that he's interested in so that I would have good stuff to read and asks me frequently how far I've gotten.
He over grasps things when I hand him something (so fingers touch)
We each have dogs, and when we pet the dogs, he'll let his fingers move over mine and doesn't seem phased
Introduces me to his friends.

Mixed signals:
Last night he talked about his exes and how much they hurt him
He told me that when I started dating again I can bring guys to the house. I simply said I wouldn't and he seemed confused about why not. But I couldnt bring myself to tell him that I already live with the guy I like!!
After a while of me touching him lightly he will move away. he doesn't move away when I do it, and he doesn't move the body part I'm touching, just after a while he gets up or shifts positions.
I feel like I'm the only one going into his personal bubble. I haven't really noticed him moving into my bubble.
He doesn't ask me much about myself. He talks about his own interests a lot.
I was upset about some problems with an old apartment lease. He asked if I was ok, and when I said yes, he started getting quiet and distant. Hope I didn't screw it up by showing my angry side :\

So what does it look like to you? Is he just a friendly guy? Someone who's interested but has reservations?
I would ask but I'm afraid to mess up a good frienship. Plus the living together thing is making it hard, I don't want to cause any awkwardness between us.

[workingman78]

looks to me like the guy is afraid to take the first step, he is probing and droping a few subtle hints. Ex's that hurt him translates too, " i am not feeling secure in asking you out because i don't want a awkward situation" JMO but come out and say it, see what happens.

[HeartIsAching]

Bingo. He likes you and is afraid to make the first move and scare you off.

If you want it to go somewhere, next time he says something like "You can bring a guy over when you start dating again" (which was an obvious probe to see what you think of the subject) tell him so.

Communicate, communicate, communicate. If you rely on innuendo, hints and expectations, you'll never get what you want. If you communicate, you have a good chance at it.

[HeartIsAching]

I really want to ask him out, but i have reservations about it. Every time I've ever asked a guy out, I get rejected. Is it unflattering for a girl to ask you out? Is it unflattering for a girl to be too available?

No.

But you don't have to ask him out. Just respond the way he hopes you will the next time he says or asks something that's obviously leading or fishing for info.

[bulrush]

Workingman had a good point. All the "good signals" are signals he likes you. He just likes to spend time with you.

Mixed signals:
- Last night he talked about his exes and how much they hurt him
- He told me that when I started dating again I can bring guys to the house. I simply said I wouldn't and he seemed confused about why not. But I couldnt bring myself to tell him that I already live with the guy I like!!

I think he likes you but he doesn't know you like him. You better tell him, quick! Or he'll be gone.

After a while of me touching him lightly he will move away. he doesn't move away when I do it, and he doesn't move the body part I'm touching, just after a while he gets up or shifts positions.

- He likes you but doesn't think you like him (same theme). So he can't commit his feelings more until he's sure you like him. Tell him quickly!

- I feel like I'm the only one going into his personal bubble. I haven't really noticed him moving into my bubble.
- He doesn't ask me much about myself. He talks about his own interests a lot.

He might like you so much he just can't think. I can't read much more into this though.

- I was upset about some problems with an old apartment lease. He asked if I was ok, and when I said yes, he started getting quiet and distant. Hope I didn't screw it up by showing my angry side :\

Everyone has an angry side. Partners (if you become that) just have to deal with it. That's just life.

[alicehardt]

We have since started dating, thank you everyone for your advice

[workingman78]

YEAH!!! Good on you, so tell us how it happened (if it isn't too personal)

[surfhb]

And you're living together? Huh?

[Mumikate]

Well. I think he absolutely likes you, don't be scared of these mixed signals. By talking with u about his exes he wanted to find out are u interested in him also in my opinion,to let u know he's available and he's not a heartless person)