Male opinion required please..

[Ana]

Hey

I apologise in advance for the essay

Met the guy early June at a party..was really drunk, invited him back to mine to a mini after party with my friends, he tried to hook up, i refused, he left at like 6am

Then he asked me out on a date. We went on a date, massive effort, really expensive restaurant blah blah blah and then after that he came round and we hung out a few times

We hooked up mid July, pretty much guilted me into it saying i was holding back on him. After this it was filthy messges galore..one sided! i was always the one that had to send pics...

He travels a lot for work, communication is rubbish up to a week no contact (i'm not a needy girl but that is a bit ridiculous)

I went on holiday for 2 weeks and he literally messaged all day long saying he missed me and i should come back.. i came back a day early so i could see him before he went away again and then he turns up at mine so late (just enough time for hooking up)

When he gets back he comes over blah blah blah we had a nice day..and then the day after at 3am he calls me really drunk saying i miss you...i wanna be with you..i had a really bad day at work..then i told him to get in a taxi and come over, i waited up for him but he never showed, he called me at 6am (ridiculous) saying he was coming over and then he feel asleep... i know he booked the cab because the car company called me when they couldn't get hold of him (we use the same one)

So anyway, what happened is that he had to have knee surgery.....he races cars and is extremely outdoorsy... so i guess he was pretty down about it...
We had dinner (Early August) and he confirmed surgery was scheduled for October

Communication gets really shit again throughout August and this time he wouldnt even want to hang out

Example message: getting home around 9, running errands...i'm not great company today...in a bad place..hurt my back and dealing with knee...how was festival?
and by beginning of September and i had enough.

So i sent him these text messages:

It has been a pleasure meeting you and i wish you good luck with everything but i cannot deal with this any longer. If this is how you deal with crisis (Shutting people out) then there is no point taking this further because i will not be treated like this by anyone. I hope everything works out and good luck with the operation.

No reply didn't hear from him in 3 weeks(wasn't expecting to) but then i reflected on everything that happened and thought that perhaps i was too mean to him when he was going through stuff..so i sent him a nice message making sure he was well prepped for surgery and then we got chatting again... I asked him if we could start over and he wanted to...so anyway he came over a day before surgery and REALLY wanted to hook up but i just didnt! i hadnt seen him for a month and wasnt ready to get back to that straight off.. he got angry to the point of almost crying.. and was like what do i want from him first i say i dont want him and then i do and now i wont have sex with him..anyway he left and the next day we had a series of messages..(so angry i deleted them!!)

He had the surgery..i couldnt go see him because his mum was looking after him and obviously we are not officially together so it would have been awkward so spent the last 3-4weeks on whats app with him.. one sided..him demanding 'pictures' as he couldn't walk..he only ever responded to my messages never started a conversation...then last week he said he went to work and then straight home and i was furious.... he couldn't even try and see me?? so its been 12 days..i have not messaged and he has not bothered to message so i guess it is over right??

[Cerby]

It isn't over because it never was. All he wanted from you was sex, every time you saw him that is what he got, and he only ever really showed up enough to get it before leaving.

So don't waste your time, if you see him and he cries because you won't sleep with him, he is just playing games to get your pants off. Use your brain and actually look back on this, he just enjoys having someone to hook up with.

[VincenzoG91]

When a guy calls you at 3 AM and wants to see you, there better be some kind of emergency involved. Otherwise, he is displaying an extreme lack of respect and really only sees you as an alternative to masturbation.

[iamaninnocentma]

The OP asked for some "male" opinions. Hopefully one will be along soon to help her out.

[Wakeup]

Well, I'm not a man but it doesn't take one to answer this post. All it takes is someone who is able to see the forest in spite of the trees... everyone sees the forest but you, doll.

So i sent him these text messages:

It has been a pleasure meeting you and i wish you good luck with everything but i cannot deal with this any longer. If this is how you deal with crisis (Shutting people out) then there is no point taking this further because i will not be treated like this by anyone. I hope everything works out and good luck with the operation.

So that ^^^ didn't work so you tried this:wwww

but then i reflected on everything that happened and thought that perhaps i was too mean to him when he was going through stuff..so i sent him a nice message making sure he was well prepped for surgery and then we got chatting again... I asked him if we could start over and he wanted to

Way to waffle. May I ask why you think that looking out for your own emotional well being by letting someone know their behaviour sucks balls is being "too mean?"

...so anyway he came over a day before surgery and REALLY wanted to hook up but i just didnt! i hadnt seen him for a month and wasnt ready to get back to that straight off.. he got angry to the point of almost crying.. and was like what do i want from him first i say i dont want him and then i do and now i wont have sex with him

Did you tell him you wanted to be more than a warm wet place to masturbate to him? Did you ask him if he was willing to put some DATING effort into your interactions, if he was up for changing the dynamics of your booty call situation? If you did, what did he say? If you didn't, then why not?

he couldn't even try and see me?? so its been 12 days..i have not messaged and he has not bothered to message so i guess it is over right??

oh I'm sure if you text him to come over and do you, he'd make it "unover." ~ Don't contact him again and YOU make it OVER... end of.

[haxan]

Find someone who's into you, Ana. He had you and lost interest, no big deal, it's a part of the process. Just move forward and quit wasting your time wondering about him.

[Wakeup]

^^ Yea, Ana it part of the process ... Just be careful about who you bed. Be more discerning because If you date 100 guys and you do even just 1/3 of them you're value goes down to a whole lot of men who can't handle your number. Sad truth!

We hooked up mid July, pretty much guilted me into it saying i was holding back on him.

Stop letting men (or anyone for that matter) guilt you into anything.

[Ladybuggg]

first work on your self esteem. cause running and bagging a guy and a guy like this is stupidity,
And i dont believe in that bullshit off i was drunk.
I believe people say that when they know they where wrong and wants to act like they did not know what they where doing.

From day one he shwed u for what he wanted u. By trying to have have sex with u right away.
So that was your first warning.

But u did not listing or analyze anything. And when he asked u for a date after that it was his
plan to try that so u may give in anyway.
And i guess u wanted it 2. by saying yes to a dude that trys to get into your pants day one.
If it fells wrong and u did not liked the night he trys it u would have not take part of the date.

All i see is that he only approach u for sex.
Notting more. And u keep giving him the space to do it. No men that is crazy about u as a person will
let weeks pass by to contact u.

U took to long to wake up! While u knew it was noting special and he was using u fr sex.

And u guys did not spent any second to get to know each-other and to be at least light friends.
And at east care a little about each-other.
Cause if i care for a dude, i will do something to show support if he is sick somewhere.
And not worry much about his mom seeing me cause i somewhere wants them to know that im his.

So if u think if u think its not a good idea to go where his mother is, but u did find it okay to do something way bigger , which is having sex severals times with this guy(stranger), i think u really need to do something about the way you deal with alcohol if u want to blame it on that. and dont touch it anymore. Cause its going to cost u a lost of pussy! and when u are back in reality u will suffer way longer then the satisfaction of the alcohol.And work on your self esteem.

[Ladybuggg]

And he got mad when u refuse him sex, cause u took away the only thing he came for.
SO he wasnt interested in you as a person, never did.

[Cerby]

first work on your self esteem. cause running and bagging a guy and a guy like this is stupidity,
And i dont believe in that bullshit off i was drunk.
I believe people say that when they know they where wrong and wants to act like they did not know what they where doing.

From day one he shwed u for what he wanted u. By trying to have have sex with u right away.
So that was your first warning.

But u did not listing or analyze anything. And when he asked u for a date after that it was his
plan to try that so u may give in anyway.
And i guess u wanted it 2. by saying yes to a dude that trys to get into your pants day one.
If it fells wrong and u did not liked the night he trys it u would have not take part of the date.

All i see is that he only approach u for sex.
Notting more. And u keep giving him the space to do it. No men that is crazy about u as a person will
let weeks pass by to contact u.

U took to long to wake up! While u knew it was noting special and he was using u fr sex.

And u guys did not spent any second to get to know each-other and to be at least light friends.
And at east care a little about each-other.
Cause if i care for a dude, i will do something to show support if he is sick somewhere.
And not worry much about his mom seeing me cause i somewhere wants them to know that im his.

So if u think if u think its not a good idea to go where his mother is, but u did find it okay to do something way bigger , which is having sex severals times with this guy(stranger), i think u really need to do something about the way you deal with alcohol if u want to blame it on that. and dont touch it anymore. Cause its going to cost u a lost of pussy! and when u are back in reality u will suffer way longer then the satisfaction of the alcohol.And work on your self esteem.

The moral of this story: Stay in school or you'll end up writing busted ass english like this in a forum where your only purpose is comic relief.

[Love'sReject]

LOL, harsh.

[iamaninnocentma]

The moral of this story: Stay in school or you'll end up writing busted ass english like this in a forum where your only purpose is comic relief.

A homosexual canadian giving English lessons on the internet. I've seen it all now.

[Love'sReject]

*Canadian.

[iamaninnocentma]

Only a ****wit like you would capitalise such a non-entity of a country like canada. The omission was deliberate.

[Love'sReject]

*capitalize, you pseudo-Brit bastard Canada is awesome; don't know what your beef is.