Do you think I'm naive?

[searock]

The point is, it happens and it happens very often.

I agree. Just not always. All it takes for a guy and a girl to be friends is for them to not be attracted to each other. If they are in a relationship with someone else, it is also paramount for them to not cross relationship boundaries (even if they aren't attracted to each other).

Now you can warn/educate others about abt boundary crosses and any disrespectful fratinizing when one's friend is in a romantic relationship with another.

Absolutely, I can try at least - I've written checklists and guideline lists on several threads by now :-).

[michelle23]

searock to answer your qs-the ten male friends i had as a teenager ALL asked me out at some point. they even took bets amongst themselves to see which one could score with me or other females in our group first. i was not attracted to any of them and to me they were just friends but men dont think that way..

an man who has ever tried to be "my friend" wanted more.

im not talking about my bf,s friends or my friends bfs who i chat to and get on well with. thats different. but men in general do not wana be close friends with a girl. they wana bang you or go out with you. im not gonna change my opinion on that. sorry

[searock]

im not gonna change my opinion on that. sorry

No problem, everyone's entitled to their opinions :-).

[bearz]

Going to have to agree with Michelle, most men wouldn't mind having sex with their female friends if they had the opportunity - and not see a problem with it.

[RobsGirl]

Shut up, bearz.

[searock]

Going to have to agree with Michelle, most men wouldn't mind having sex with their female friends if they had the opportunity - and not see a problem with it.

Most men maybe, just not *all* men.

[VincenzoG91]

Most men maybe, just not *all* men.

Sure, some men wouldn't mind having sex with their male friends.

[Tug]

IMO men and women can never be close friends. Men are men and 9 times out of 10 have ulterior motives.

[searock]

Sure, some men wouldn't mind having sex with their male friends.

And this is irrelevant.

I've said a LOT of times that I have a few guy friends who are NOT attracted to me (and whom I am not attracted to), I know it for a fact. Would they have sex with me if they were 100% horny, hadn't been "getting any" for weeks, had absolutely no alternative and didn't care about potentially screwing up our friendship? Maybe. That doesn't mean they're attracted to me, just that they're male and straight and I'm female and not horrendously deformed. It has nothing to do with our friendship.

I hope you understand that when I say "friendship" I don't mean any of that crap like "friendly cuddling" or "friendly crying on his shoulder as he pats my back and hands me heart-shaped chocolates he bought for me" or any of that stuff. That's not friendship, that's I don't even know... two sad/insecure/naive persons that find comfort in each other in some unhealthy way.

I repeat: the necessary condition for male-female friendship to exist is that there can be no physical attraction. It may develop in time, but it doesn't *always* do so. If it does develop, then it's no longer "friendship".

[CompleteFailure]

1. Do you agree with this statement?

a)"Men do not want female friends. They have their friends, and aren't on the lookout for new females to add to their circle, unless, of course, they believe they stand a chance with her. In that case, a man will hang out with a female under the premise of trying to befriend her, while actually trying to get her to fall for him."

b)"If you want to know whether a man is attracted to a female,you should check who initiates the friendship first and how they become friends"

2.Does this mean I'm also a whore or an attention seeker?!

3.I honestly believe guys and girls can be "just friends" or platonic friends without wanting more (sexually or romantically) and I said this to a good male friend of mine..but he didn't agree with me..he told me I'm so naive that I think in this way.

4.Some people say,"Any guy who is friends with a girl secretly thinks about sleeping with them. How about if a girl is physically unattractive or even ugly?

See #3

5. a) Is this just an exceptional case? Can a guy be a close friend with a girl without secretly wanting more from her?

b) Can a guy be always very caring,supportive,patient and a good listener without secretly hoping to sleep with his close female friend?

Thank you!

1. a) 1. Do not agree. If a girl is interested in being more than friends with a guy but uses friendship as an in, the guy might get involved in the friendship simply to boost his own ego.

b) Agree.

2. If you're being completely honest than no. Perhaps though, if you're very flirty and giving off the vibe that you are, that's what others may perceive.

3. He probably said that, because he wants in your pants. I believe it's possible up until a certain point. The right atmosphere, the wrong thoughts, a little too much too drink and someone(either) might make an advance. Not necessarily because they "always" wanted the other but perhaps just purely in the moment and giving into the temptation of possibly forbidden fruit? Or just their animalistic qualities of being what we are.

4. See #3

5. a) This might be the norm, and the opposite would be the exceptional case.

b) That would depend on the guy and how much time and or patience he has.

[edpjrr]

IMO men and women can never be close friends. Men are men and 9 times out of 10 have ulterior motives.

How about if they don't find each other physically attractive?

[edpjrr]

1. a) 1. Do not agree. If a girl is interested in being more than friends with a guy but uses friendship as an in, the guy might get involved in the friendship simply to boost his own ego.

b) Agree.

2. If you're being completely honest than no. Perhaps though, if you're very flirty and giving off the vibe that you are, that's what others may perceive.

3. He probably said that, because he wants in your pants. I believe it's possible up until a certain point. The right atmosphere, the wrong thoughts, a little too much too drink and someone(either) might make an advance. Not necessarily because they "always" wanted the other but perhaps just purely in the moment and giving into the temptation of possibly forbidden fruit? Or just their animalistic qualities of being what we are.

4. See #3

5. a) This might be the norm, and the opposite would be the exceptional case.

b) That would depend on the guy and how much time and or patience he has.

Wow!I really like your answer!

3. That's why he ran after me and tried to do dirty dancing with me when he got drunk the other night at a party!I was very shocked! But when he's sober,he is always very gentlemanly and respectful to me!

Oh,btw,I've just read this in another online forum,"From a guy perspective, the whole platonic thing is a bunch of crap. We want to get into your pants unless you are super fat/ugly".

[michelle23]

How about if they don't find each other physically attractive?

if you want male friends-just go ahead. Nobody cares really but your boyfriend might.

[VincenzoG91]

OP, just for the sake of science... why don't you ask each of your guy friends if they are interested in having sex with you. Just flat out ask each one, and take note of their reactions. You will be enlightened.

[edpjrr]

Sure, some men wouldn't mind having sex with their male friends.

OMG,this is hilarious LOL

But I'm sure some men still refuse to have sex with their female friends if an opportunity arises cos they either value the friendship too much or find their female friends very unattractive