A girl that I've known since High School. Advice

[battalion19]

This might be a bit long, but please bare with it. I do need help with this. I over think everything, and I know this.

SO... to begin me and her first became to know each other when we rode on the bus. I remember the first day I met her, I was a nerdy small cute guy, she was the girl of my dreams. I never had the courage to talk to any other girl, but the minute I saw her. I stood up and asked her to sit with me and chat. So we did. She was new in town and the bus was the only way we talked and we did this for a while, until come to find out. My dad knew her dad from when he was in the Army. So we've actually known each other for a while just don't remember it. She was what we would say in high school "a bad girl" she loved the douche bags and jerks, but this never stopped me from talking to her and asking her to a dance, (which I got rejected). She ended up moving after a year or so to NY. She was also in a relationship with a guy for almost 6 years and had a child with him, but she gave her up for adoption which was a good thing for her.

We lost contact for a while. I went into the USMC Infantry and did two tours. We kept in touch every once in a while, but I knew one day if I could ever get the chance I will not stop but to get her to be mine.

When I was out of the USMC. I was in a relationship for 3 years, and just recently broken up with her. When my dad told me (lets say her name is dream girl) dream girl moved back to where we live. That she was going sky diving with my dad and some other people. So I got her phone number and asked her if I could pick her up to go skydiving with them. And she said yes. When we met that first feeling of when I first met her on the bus came right back. So we we're talking on the way and had a lot of fun until skydiving was done. Then I asked her to go to the pool with me and a friend. She said she might and she would text me later. We ended up meeting there and had a really great time. She asked if I would like to spend more time with her. So we went back to her house and started to talk about things and how she just broke the Friends with benefits with a guy ( she doesn't go into relationships with guys at this point). At the end of the day she asked me if Friends with benefits would be something we could try, and of course I said yes. But we both decided we would take it slow. We actually never got to do anything because the other guy cried back to her and like I said she likes jerks, and he is one.

We still kept in touch, and I knew she would be done with him in a short while, so I carried on with my life. About a month later they had broken up again, and she asked me if I wanted to go out with her and her best friend, so we did. We all had a lot of fun and got drunk, but they were going through my pictures on my phone because I was showing them something before I went to the bathroom. and then they saw some of my more revealing photos. And at this point they dragged me out of the bar and asked if a threesome would be something I would do. And of course being drunk I said yes (even though it was great I kind of regret it to some degree) After the one chick left my house, and me and dream girl actually ended up having sex again. (she doesn't regret this night at all, and we have talked about it). So we stopped talking for a while.

I got into a relationship for about a year and the only reason I stayed was because I loved her daughter really. Then we broke up about a month ago.

Then one day my dad told me to text Dream girl, because she had been asking about me and she had been asking about me to a lot of people. So I did and me and her went out on a date. It was a lot of fun, I got her to actually let loose and have some fun. (she likes to drink a lot as well). So we did drink and then we made it back to her house, and we took shots and carried on in the night. She asked me if I wanted to spend the night. She also said that we would not be having sex at her mom's house. And I understood why. She sleeps in the living room for right now.

the next day she texted me that she had a lot of fun and we should do this again sometime soon. and I said yes how about corn fest? She said yes. So a week later she texted me to come over before corn fest. She felt crappy and didn't know if she wanted to go out still, but I got her to liven and up and feel good. SO we went to corn ffest and I got her to ride the rides that she had never and was a little worried to do so, but we had so much fun doing this. (me and her family both like eachother a lot both parents want me and her to date) She had a chance to go out with friends and I would go with her, but we stayed together and just hung out with the two of us the rest of the night. Had a lot of fun with the parents as well. Later on in the night after a few drinks we ended up walking around, and then we some how started to kiss. and I mean we kissed for a while, and many times. We ended up going back to my place and she spent the night. We didn't do anything but that's because she is on her period, but we have been hanging out in some way every day for the past 5 days. she has been spending the night with me. WE also talked about our situation, and this is what she said.

SHe said she doesn't want to lose me as a friend, but she does like me. She would like to see where this could go, and she thinks we could be more, but she thinks she will screw it up by being a bitch (yes this is what she said). She knows i've liked her since high school. I'm not the usual guy she likes to date. I've also gotten her to open up to me about a lot of things that she doesn't talk with anyone else. She says to everyone she never wants kids again, but with me she would like them around 30, just one example. She thinks she has to get drunk to have fun, but with me she doesn't have too at all. She says she feel really safe and trusting of me. I make her laugh a lot.

Look this is what I need to know. Do I really have a good fighting chance with this dream girl of mine. I know she likes me but it is almost if she is scared of her self. ( she has had a lot of difficult things happen in her life as well) But She also knows about mine that I have never told any one else. Till this day we have yet to have sex and its been 5 days but again she has been on her period. and we have stayed up at night talking about how much we wish we could lol.

This dream girl makes me want to reach for the stars. I know if me and her were together we could push mountains. My dad sees it and so does her mom. I haven't asked her to be in a relationship but I did tell her that we should just give it a shot, and see what happens, and she agreed to it. for now we are really good friends/ friends with benefits.

Look sorry for the long story but I do need to know of what I should do. If you have any questions please ask. Thank you for reading and have a great day.

[Valixy]

She sounds a bit complicated but at least she is honest. I understand that you have feelings for her but you can't wait and try all your life to have a proper relationship with her. You have both been through several relationships and learnt a lot and should be able to dedicate yourselves to a relationship that is so much worth it. Maybe you should try once again and give up for good if it's not working. No matter how much you love someone, if that person can't do a relationship, you need to accept it at some point and let go.

The way things are at the moment look good, you've had a few days when you've been able to connect with each other without rushing into sex and talked about giving it a go. I hope it will work out for both of you, if not, maybe you should accept that some people never change and stop trying.

[battalion19]

She sounds a bit complicated but at least she is honest. I understand that you have feelings for her but you can't wait and try all your life to have a proper relationship with her. You have both been through several relationships and learnt a lot and should be able to dedicate yourselves to a relationship that is so much worth it. Maybe you should try once again and give up for good if it's not working. No matter how much you love someone, if that person can't do a relationship, you need to accept it at some point and let go.

The way things are at the moment look good, you've had a few days when you've been able to connect with each other without rushing into sex and talked about giving it a go. I hope it will work out for both of you, if not, maybe you should accept that some people never change and stop trying.

I appreciate the reply! I know she is complicated, but honestly she isn't at the same time. It's not that I didn't try to dedicate myself to a relationship, just I am almost the same the way she is, but I'll give it a 10x bigger shot than she will.

You know I've always said she is really like me and that girl is really like me and always ends up being the other way, and my dad can see right through this and he knows. But the dream girl we really are like eachother, and this is actually the first time my dad has really actually tried to persuade with me and talk to me about it. Sounds dumb lol. But I understand where you are coming from. I just know she needs a guy who can actually deal with her complicated self. She has been mentally and physically abused but a lot of other guys. She is a diamond in the rough. Really gorgeous and knows it but mentally not confident. I don't know. I understand her and I know her. We do cuddle a lot and she loves sleeping with me.

But I will take your advice. Thank you again