In need of a male opinion/advice

[ladylore]

So I registered on Tinder about a couple of months ago hoping to find someone with the same values and interests as me. I dated 2 guys for a short period of time as one was impatient for a certain something and the other had no time for me. I've only been speaking to guys over Tinder since then and it seems as though they are looking for something easy and I am not that kind of girl. For a couple of weeks I decided to give up on the search but as of recent I got sucked back in. I came across this one guy who I found very mysterious, didn't have anything written about himself in his profile but yet I still swiped him. This was something I would not normally do but I feel as though there was some magnetic pull telling me to do so. Anyways, he initiated the conversation by calling me by my first name which was a pleasant surprise as the two previous guys called me beautiful and gorgeous which in the beginning I thought was nice but then it just got old and annoying as I'm sure they've said this to every girl. So this new guy impressed me from the start by calling me by my first name, and I started to really get interested in him as our conversations were unreal. He was so down to earth and talked about normal every day things with me. Our likes and dislikes, school and work but not once did he bring up the topic of sex. To me he came across as a very reserved, respectable genuine guy and I liked this a lot. We literally have so much in common its ridiculous. After about 4 days of talking day and night he decided he wanted to me for a "casual libation" as he put it . So I met up with him for a drink at a pub, something casual, and let me just say he was everything i imagined but 10 times better. When we both saw each other he shook my hand, no hug. I respected this. Right off the bat I could tell he was painfully shy and nervous. We spent about 3 hours together talking about our families, past relationships, normal stuff. I do need to mention the fact that he was sweating a lot and shifting about in his seat as he was talking to me. He couldn't even look into my eyes for more than 5 seconds. I was flattered by this as I am usually the shy one but him being this way kind of made me feel less shy. Anyways the night went very well, we have so much in common we can both keep a conversation going, not gonna say there hasn't been a few seconds of awkward silence but I'm sure that happens with anyone you first meet. So here is where the issue starts. We both left that night on good terms he's hinted to me that he wants to see me again but said this indirectly. So we parted ways as I did not let him drive me home and had my own ride, and he told me he would talk to me tomorrow. Yes he ended up texting me the next day with very short texts nothing like he did in the beginning. He did tell me that he wants to go to school for business and also wants to work part time and is finding a job. I completely understand this. By the way he is 25 and I am 21. Since the day I met him in person he's taken a couple of days from texting me, then I caved and texted him first to see how he was doing and he said he was stressed. So I replied to him in a comforting way as i wanted to make him feel better because thats just who I am. He did not respond. It has now been 4 days and he hasn't texted me once and I don't feel as though i should cave again especially considering he didn't respond to me. Now, I have been on Tinder to snoop, who doesn't I mean I actually like the guy. But I snooped and turns out I see him active on there on the days he hasn't been talking to me. I just want to know what the deal is with this? If you have so much in common with someone, both have the same values, both physically attracted to eachother, both make eachother nervous to the point of sweating HOW DOES SOMEONE IGNORE THIS? I find it so rare to come across something this good and real. I never felt so connected to someone before and I know he felt the same way, his body language said it all. I need a male opinion on this matter and any advice you are willing to share on my situation. I do want to mention that he is a Leo Snake and I am a Pisces Rooster. Any feedback would be much appreciated.

[Wakeup]

Well... YOU may have felt all those things you say you felt but he obviously didn't feel the "connection" that you did. It happens all the time. The online chemistry does not pan out in real life.

Just stop creeping him on Tinder. In fact... block and delete him so you can't tell when he's online and that will stop you torturing yourself with over-thinking what he's doing on there and why he's not calling you for a second date. He has your telephone number if he wants to contact you. I'd not have anything else to do with him though if he hadn't contacted me because he was stressed but not stressed enough to stop looking for other women.

There's better matches out there for you. Don't let this one guy who is backing away fk with your confidence. Its certainly not uncommon to think things were great for him too when YOU thought they were so good.

Better luck next time.

[ladylore]

Thank you for your feedback you're so right. However, I feel hesitant to just delete him off Tinder because i don't know if he's doing this on purpose or not, as I've read on so many forums that guys like to do this because they know it drives the girl crazy. But honestly though this makes me so upset why do guys have to be so confusing and play mean games.

Well... YOU may have felt all those things you say you felt but he obviously didn't feel the "connection" that you did. It happens all the time. The online chemistry does not pan out in real life.

Just stop creeping him on Tinder. In fact... block and delete him so you can't tell when he's online and that will stop you torturing yourself with over-thinking what he's doing on there and why he's not calling you for a second date. He has your telephone number if he wants to contact you. I'd not have anything else to do with him though if he hadn't contacted me because he was stressed but not stressed enough to stop looking for other women.

There's better matches out there for you. Don't let this one guy who is backing away fk with your confidence. Its certainly not uncommon to think things were great for him too when YOU thought they were so good.

Better luck next time.

[michelle23]

He sounds very insecure. Maybe he just doesn't have the confidence to pursue something "real" and prefers his safety net from behind the computer screen. Honestly I dont know how anyone would find that attractive.. so nervous he was sweating? Couldnt look you in the eye? Teenage boys act this way when they see a pretty girl smiling at them-not grown men who should be confident and self assured

It would be a massive turn off me