Is it worth it in the end?

[striver]

Hello, I am a 19 year old male who is finding it difficult to put myself out there again after being hurt by past relationships. This post is not about my insecurities of wondering why these girls left me, it is about finding to willpower to carry on. I will not change who I am for other people. There is contradictory advice about initiating and maintaining attraction in which one piece of advice is to be yourself, while multiple others is telling you what to do, even if it is contradictory to what you would do. At the end of the day, the only person you can count on to be there 100% is yourself, and I refuse to let that person be loosely identified.

I have noticed a pattern, not just in my dating career, but all aspects of my life as well. This may sound blatantly obvious, but there are highs and there are lows. During periods of my life, I would assume that there were more highs in my life than lows, and life was worth living, other times I felt the lows outweighed the highs and life was not worth living. I've noticed, now that I am older, that they balance each other out. A massive high will be followed by a massive low, and vice versa. Using mathematical logic, assuming lows are negative values and highs are positive values, my emotions, averaged out, equal 0, nothing gained and nothing lost. Seeing how true this is makes me ask, "Why do anything to make you happy if it will just equal out in the end?" This world has taught me there is no such this as something too good. It all balances out in the end.

This logic is displayed in the science of attraction. If a guy does not care as much as another guy, the first guy will get more action than the second. Action means less to the first guy since he does not care and action means more to the second guy because he does. In the end, the satisfaction they get will equal out to be the same. I see this evidence and it confirms that you can never have something that is too good. Many people are married and claim to be in love, but I feel as if the suffering from the marriage will equal the good that comes out of it, especially at the end, if it is a successful one, where one has to live without the other.

All of these things the world has shown me makes me depressed and to not want to per-sue women. I have grown to see women more as sexual objects, not from our society, but to protect myself from the hurt I know is coming. If you would like to say anything to me, or have a response to my question, please comment. Thank you for reading this.

[CrasherRob8]

I think you think too much. Just go out there and have fun. Don't look for a relationship or someone to hook up with. Just have fun. The right person will come along. And yes I speak from experience after having ex-gf's cheat on me. I'm currently with my gf of 6 years. We met when I wasn't looking for anything.

[Trivium632]

Rob is right. You need to relax and stop over thinking things in your life. I know what you are saying about the up and down. My family has a long history of bipolar disorder and suicides (I'm not saying by any mean that you are). My doctor told me that she suspected me to be bipolar too since I had many up and down like you say and that sometimes, I, too, felt like life wasn't worth living. That, yeah, what's the point if everything ends up leaving you with pain. Chaos.

I eventually learned that you can grow up to be happy. That, yeah, life is a bitch, but that, in the end, if you help yourself, it's one fun ride. It all starts from you buddy. If you decide that you want to be happy, you'll be. Don't hesitate to pm me.