Did I do the right thing?

[Angel29]

I met a guy 4 years ago through a walking group. We were both interested in each other but for some reason we never got together. I told him I liked him and he had some sort of anxiety attack and panicked in front of me saying he wasn't interested anymore. I have seen him on and off in the group over the years.

Last year we randomly got matched on eHarmony so I sent him a message which he sent a generic 'wants to get to know you' reply. I shut the match down a week later as I thought he could not be bothered to write back.

14 months later I saw him last night at a Christmas party, we spoke for an hour and he seemed very interested. He came back from the toilet and saw me talking to my friend's boyfriend and assumed I was being chatted up so he said he was going and said bye.

My friends told me to text him that evening saying it was lovely to see him and to meet over Xmas if he is free and to have a nice Christmas. I thought it seemed a bit desperate but did it, he didn't reply. I know he is busy today but know he read the message as he has been on What's app. Did I do the right thing to message him? I feel very anxious and am fed up of not knowing where I stand with him.

[pcmaster]

Maybe he didnt reply because was thinking hes not so important to you since you talked with other guy. These type of guys have to be 100% sure and reassured again and again.
I think you need to write a longer message and explain everything and then leave it like that. It was not desperate to send first message. After all it Christmas time and people been wishing each other merry Christmas left and right.

If you want to see him over christmas then its ussualy time for family so he might be with his family. You should have give him more options to meet. I say wait till christmas ends and then write another message.

[TheEvilJester]

I don't think it is about right and wrong here. If you wanted to text him, then it was right to text him. ....Now, do I personally think you SHOULD have? No, I definitely think you shouldn't have bothered. Let's look at your history leading up to seeing him at the party....

You ask him out and it causes him to have a panic attack right in front of you and tell you he's not interested....

You two are matched up on a dating site, so you figure what the heck and you message him.... He responds not with an actual response, but with one of their no effort, too much of a loser to actually come up with his own words canned responses..... then can't be bothered to actually talk to you after that.....

What exactly makes you WANT to give this guy another chance? LOL! Believe me, I think it is awesome that you are that forgiving and understanding. And, Hell, don't get me wrong. I, of all people, can certainly understand having social anxiety. So, if he really is THAT anxious around people I certainly can't blame him..... but he needs to learn to deal with that or how is he ever going to have any kind of real life? It isn't up to you, nor should it be, to drag him kicking and screaming into real life. So, I think my personal suggestion right now would be to take this as a hint to forget him and move on.

Frankly, even if he finally responded now, if I were you it would be too little too late. And, again, I don't think you should harbor any ill will towards him. You can be kind, forgiving, and understanding..... but at the same time realize that he's not right for you. Good luck to you. You will find somebody some day he will jump at the chance to be with you. Don't wait around for somebody who can't seem to handle anything, much less get up the courage to give you a chance.