Im confussed, he says he wants to have sex but it doesnt happen

[SassyD]

Thanks guys for reading and hopefully replying

I met a guy around 12 months ago that I see (in a work capacity) approx 2 - 3 times a month.

I have been married for 10 years, he has been with his partner (de facto) for around 6 yrs.

3 months ago I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he did.

The next three times I seen him (in a work capacity) he touched me (shoulder massage, quick hug, tap on the bum) and seemed very keen.

We did set up a time for our first get together sexually but the morning of, he txtd me and said he had another person with him that day with work.

I did see him that day at random and he was nicely shaved, had haircut etc when he is normally scruffy so it appears he did make an effort.

I asked him if he still wanted to have sex and he was adamant he does but he is very busy with work and time poor..........

When I do see him in a work capacity he has all of the time in the world for me, is very friendly and flirty.....BUT still time poor apparantly. He also initiates contact with me via txt.

This guy is around 10yrs older than me and he often says things that make me think he has no problems having sex outside of his relationship but it still is not happening.

Is he scared?
Is he just not into me?
Does he like the talk and tease but has no intentions of going through with sex?

I would really like the advice of someone who would have an idea of how a 40yo man thinks

[Lissy0404]

you said you are marry??? I'm a little confuse now, if you are married why you want to sleep with somebody else? If you are not married, maybe read the signals, he is not into you. If a guy wants to have sex with you, he will defenitly make it happen, and you don't have to ask. I learn something, when you see signals, they are what they are. No backup story.

[Wakeup]

Thanks guys for reading and hopefully replying

I met a guy around 12 months ago that I see (in a work capacity) approx 2 - 3 times a month.

I have been married for 10 years, he has been with his partner (de facto) for around 6 yrs.

3 months ago I asked him if he wanted to have sex.

Are you and your husband in a mutually agreed to open relationship dynamic?

[SassyD]

Are you and your husband in a mutually agreed to open relationship dynamic?

Yes we have an open relationship, sorry I should have made that clear in my opening post.

[Beenthere]

Id say he is flattered by the attention but despite what he says, he is not that sure what to do with it. Im not as sure as you that he cheats on his partner. You sound super confident and like you really know what you want. Thats sexy, but also puts the onus on him to deliver. If he is in anyway nervous that may be a little intimidating. I think you should take a step back, put the ball in his court and try to meet in a less 'formal' shag me situation.

[WasLost]

Sounds like he's sorta into it, and maybe not, probably for fear of getting caught.

[Wakeup]

Yes we have an open relationship, sorry I should have made that clear in my opening post.

I think the problem is that he, is not. Find someone who has the same freedom you have to have your extracuricular sex with. Just because YOU and your partner have an understanding it doesnt' mean you should impose yourselves in other peoples relationships that don't. You're asking him to cheat on his partner unless he's in an open dynamic as well.. did you even ask him about what he promised his partner as far as monogamy goes?

[ashley89]

wtf........

[basilandthyme]

If he's not in an open relationship, I would guess that he's torn between lust and doing the right thing. At the moment, doing the right thing is winning.

[afekson]

Thanks guys for reading and hopefully replying

I met a guy around 12 months ago that I see (in a work capacity) approx 2 - 3 times a month.

I have been married for 10 years, he has been with his partner (de facto) for around 6 yrs.

3 months ago I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he did.

The next three times I seen him (in a work capacity) he touched me (shoulder massage, quick hug, tap on the bum) and seemed very keen.

We did set up a time for our first get together sexually but the morning of, he txtd me and said he had another person with him that day with work.

I did see him that day at random and he was nicely shaved, had haircut etc when he is normally scruffy so it appears he did make an effort.

I asked him if he still wanted to have sex and he was adamant he does but he is very busy with work and time poor..........

When I do see him in a work capacity he has all of the time in the world for me, is very friendly and flirty.....BUT still time poor apparantly. He also initiates contact with me via txt.

This guy is around 10yrs older than me and he often says things that make me think he has no problems having sex outside of his relationship but it still is not happening.

Is he scared?
Is he just not into me?
Does he like the talk and tease but has no intentions of going through with sex?

I would really like the advice of someone who would have an idea of how a 40yo man thinks

Since you asked him first; maybe he thingks you are too cheap or maybe he's thinking it might be a step up by his partner trying to test how loyal he is to their relationship.