Sad situation with the girl i love

[keano]

I know i can't force anything on her. I told her she has every right to be with someone else eventhough i wouldn't like it just because i did not wanna be forcing anything. All i want to do is to tell her how i see her situation since i'm someone who really knows her. Me doing this might help her figure this out on her own. I believe we never effectively communicated during the relationship so it is fair for it to end.

pcmaster, you are a 100% right. Her brain needs a rest but now she is in a long distance relationship with a 40 year old. That is not resting your brain is it ? She always says she doesn't feel opinionated and confident. So instead of going for a quick-fix she should face these issues. She should be able to feel like a complete person on her own.

I think our relationship is beyond repair now. But i want to help the girl i loved the most so far. I want to leave a positive mark on her life.
She is not sad cause now she has a new guy. What happens when she is bored of him, a next one ? What after that ? Another ? She wilil suffer more in the future i believe..

[pcmaster]

If you want to leave a positive impact on her life then write her a letter. Something like: "You are pretty... best thing about you.. be proud with it...you deserve the best.. etc."

Find your own words. She will have the chance to read it and re read it when need. Only dont read it yourself otherwise you will never forget her. Also I would suggest that she should go to the monestry - few years without sex will clean her soul after all the dicks shes been tru. You can pray God for her too ofcourse.

However you seem like a good guy and theres no reason you should care about other pain in front of you while you can be happy.

[smackie9]

Her problems, her issues, her life to live, it's not yours to help change. You can't rescue her, stop trying to be the white knight in her life. Focus on you and getting past the hurt. .

[keano]

So here is an update. Please help me out. Last friday i ran into her and the new guy (actually my friends were there they told me about this so i went over to see what would happen). They looked happy, laughing, chatting. She was making small talk with my bestfriends, acting like nothing was wrong. She even attempted to come over and say hi to me as if nothing happened. But i ignored her since i thought it was ****ed up for her to act like nothing happened(eventhough i'm trying not to be judgmental). Then i caught her looking at me at least 3 times from a distance and looking very nervous shortly before she left the bar. Now i hear she'll be at the party i'm attending in London next weekend. Most probably the long distance guy will be there too. We might even be getting there on the very same flight ! I'm really confused. My dignity outweighs the love i had for her (maybe i still love her, i'm confused i told you). So i'm not looking to get her back or anything. But don't know what to do.
I believe the best option would be to say hi if i have to, even shake the guys hand and act all mature. But still the fact that there are no consequences for her behavior eats me up. Any opinion would be welcome guys.
Cheers

[basilandthyme]

I'm confused, what behaviour of hers should suffer consequences? You ended things, she moved on and is now being civil when she sees you in public. Seems perfectly reasonable behaviour to me.

Also, I'm deliberately ignoring the 'daddy issues'. Now that you are no longer her boyfriend, all she owes you is civility in public. Her problems and choices for continuing in her life are no longer relevant to you.

I saw in an earlier post that you want to help her. I strongly urge you not to do this...I can't imagine any person wanting unsolicited advice from an ex.

[keano]

Hello thanks for the reply. If you read the first post you'll have a better idea of why i believe it should have some sort of consequence.

After what happened, we did not talk about it all (even a simple '' i'm sorry it had to be like this '' text would have done it for me but i never received any response). and the fact that she believes she can talk to me like there was nothing wrong with the situation pisses me off. Am i wrong to expect a brief apology before being able to interact with her ?

[romany]

This very sad