Mixed Messages

[Confused_One]

Asked this in a previous thread from Females. I wanted to know what the guys think. Here is the other thread.
Hi There,

I have been in a long term relationship for 5 plus years now and am in my early mid twenties. I love this girl. On the other hand, sex has been so so. She pleasures me and I pleasure her, but actual intercourse doesn't work so well. It works sometimes, but other times it hurts her and we have to stop, it is really the only problem. I have just dealt with it and know that she tries her best she has made appointments and received help. It's better then the beginning, but still a bit of a problem. I have never looked elsewhere or cheated. She is my first love.

Now this summer, we went on vacation with her best friend, twice. We hung out a lot and she has sort of become my friend. This girl is single and really looking for a relationship for like 4-5 years now. She has been in and out of bad ones.

We hung out all together before this summer and I never really thought much of her best friend, she is cute, but nothing ever came up in my mind.

Things started happening that started making my mind wander.

When we sleep over with her or her with us, often times in the morning she will come into the bed next to my girlfriend before we get up to start the day. We are awake, but just lying in the bed.

While camping, on the last night our fire was dying at like 10:30 and we had no wood, my girlfriend suggested that if the fire died we could move the party into our tent (which consisted of no room besides the mattress and sleeping bags). The party consisted of me, my girlfriend and her friend (who had her own tent).Other friends were with us before, but they left a day before. We found wood and ended up staying out till late and then going back to our respective tents.

While at a social gathering I was slow dancing with my girlfriend on a couples song. My girlfriend whispers to me, my friend looks lonely, could you take her for the rest of this slow dance? I said no at first. But, she pushed me so I did, her friend was reluctant at first, but she accepted and thanked me after.

Then we were going out on the weekend out of town (we live in a place away from most of our family and friends). After going out we needed a place to sleep. My girlfriend is like my friend can have us over to sleep. She had a big smile and she raised her eyebrows twice when she said that (what is that supposed to mean?).

My girlfriend asks me to check something on messenger about her friend, I tell her I don't have her on MSN and my girlfriend is like "why? You should add her".

I know girls think a lot different then guys and all these things probably mean nothing in their eyes. But, for a guy things have been coming to mind and I have sort of developed feelings for the best friend, but I still love my girlfriend.

I spoke to my best guy friend about this a bit and he said yeah, girls do this and they think nothing of it and have no idea how guys think. He said he had received provocative pictures of his girlfriend with her best friend saying she was open to anything. They visited him and nothing happened, he asked her about it and she said that it was just to show him she was open to a lot of things.

My girlfriend has told me she wants our sex life to work and she always has worried about me leaving her for that and I haven't and I won't. She has told me things like "you are good looking, over 6'3" and tanned, other girls will come after you and I would understand if you wanted to leave me because of our sex life". I think these feelings have subsided for her a bit, because she hasn't said those things in a little while. It bothered me when she said that stuff.

I am not jealous, we had a break once and I know she was into someone else (she didn't cheat physically, but she was torn). She wanted the break. This was over 3 years ago, things have been good since then. I never confronted her about the other guy, she doesn't know I found out. I wouldn't confront her and like I said it is not something that bothers me and I am not sure why. I am really not a jealous person by nature.

I would never cheat on her with her best friend, it's wrong on so many levels and her friend would never do it either, she is a good person. I don't even have a read on what her friend thinks of me, she likes me as a friend and that could be all and in a sense thats how I hope she feels.

But, sometimes I feel like my girlfriend is like trying to send messages with all these things we do with her best friend that aren't normal.

I mean, I wouldn't invite my best guy friend into the bed with us in the morning, nor would I invite him into our tent at night or ask my girlfriend to slow dance with him because he is lonely.

Sometimes I just want to say what I have been feeling, but I know it will make things awkward with her best friend and I wouldn't want to screw up their relationship and I do see her friend as my friend as well now. So far I have been just holding my questions in and hoping that this will all blow over. I mean they are really bestest best friends and that is part of the reason the 3 of us end up doing a lot together.

Am I reading too much into this? Is it normal for girlfriends to use their boyfriends to make their single friends feel less lonely??? At first I never questioned her coming into the bed in the morning, but then all these other things started happening and got my mind wandering.

I mean when talking to my girlfriend about her friend's problems with her ex's, she says to me "she needs a strong man like you in her life".

Anyways some female advice and analysis would probably help me get over this or how to deal with these feelings.

I'm not against a threesome or anything like that, but only if it is cause thats what my girlfriend wants. Even if it is what she has though about, I am worried that this could mess things up.

Like I said I have never cheated and I'm not going to cross that line, but I'd imagine the feelings I'm having are feelings a lot of people have at some point or time in their relationship.

Sorry for the long story and thank you for the help.

[Primo]

That's pretty complicated to solve on here. You're going to have to confront her with these questions imo.

[Confused_One]

That's pretty complicated to solve on here. You're going to have to confront her with these questions imo.

Does it seem normal to you these things? Like would you consider the way things are with her best friend as normal? Could you see yourself getting the wrong idea little bit?

[Primo]

No, it's definitely out of the ordinary. Yes, I'd have the wrong idea for sure !