needing help please

[farmerpat]

So my ex girlfriend of two years and we have a child left me right before thanksgiving because of my drunknes my anger my laziness worthlessness i mean the list could go on. So i gave her space and left for a month in a half we still talked cuz of the kid mainly. So now i've come back for christmas before i have to leave and go to our old house in another state and make money to take care of our child. She see's the changes i've made and gets upset and mad even crying telling me why could i have not done this sooner she says it's over that she isn't in love with me anymore she just loves me and wants to be friends and thats not all she has been seeing my best friend since i left and they have feelings for each other and she keeps telling me this over and over how happy she is, and that my friend wants to still be my friend. WTF i know i deserve this but really... Is there still a chance, is she maybe playing mind games with me or somthing I'm confused I told her i'm not gonna be my friends friend ever again, but that i didn't blame her for leaving... Is wrong of me to think i still have a chance with her if i keep makeing changes. I don't drink anymore and have shown her that she still does and when she comes over to hotel the past two nights she brings beer and asks me to drink with her to which i say no. What Do I Do... She thinks that if she leaves with me and comes back to me that i will go back to my normal ways which i don't blame her cuz i've tried before and failed within a week each time but i've been doing good for a month in a half and she has only seen this for 3-4 days now what can i do to prove to her before i leave that i'm not gonna fall back this time I really love this woman and my child.. I'm 30 yearsold and have never had a serious relationship let alone wanted one what can i do here I'm so confused it seems like the more probelms i show her i've fixed the more pissed she gets one night she cried saying what was i not good enough for you and i told her you were and so was our child i just have probelms that i needed to work on we lived to together with friends always staying or visiting drinking and it was hard to get away from all that but she dosn't think i'll really change or that she can be in love with me anymore What is going on here I NEED ADVICE PLEASE and i don't think she is jealous
I'm not going to drink... it's just hard because i know it'll take the pain away...but i'm not going to do it

[bulrush]

You missed your chance with this girl. She just wants to be friends, that doesn't mean you have to be friends. You can cut off all communication with her, just talk to her to make plans to see your kid. She sounds regretful that you didn't change your life before the breakup. But, you blew it. Try not to do that again. She doesn't want you as a boyfriend anymore, just normal friends.

[bcgirl]

have you thought that perhaps you drank subconsciously because of the relationship? Once the relationship is over, maybe you felt as though some weight has been lifted off your shoulders and you don't need to drink? You need to ask yourself if you truly really love this girl and see yourself spending your whole life with her... or do just want her back for the sake of your child? If you answered the latter, then you need to let her go. She is upset that you've turned good now because she doesn't want to see you in a good place. She wants to see you fail and be miserable so she can point the finger and be like "see, I told ya so...and look what you've missed out on".