trying to read a scattered girl

[story]

Hey forum! Last semester I met a beautiful girl in one of my classes. We started hanging out occasionally outside of school, one-on-one. Easiest girl to talk to I have ever met. Every couple of weeks or so we had gotten together this winter. Now, clearly I like her and I haven't tried to hide it. My method has been to spend time getting to know her one-on-one, building comfort and sexual tension, to a breaking point.

Now, she is a spaz, it seems she is known amongst her girlfriends for being bad with her phone. The last time we made plans to get together, she did not respond to my initial text, so I called her a few days later, and lo and behold, within minutes she calls back, and we make plans for the next day. That next day, we took a long walk, just the two of us, down by the massive river that runs through our city, right at sunset. She led us to a bench overlooking the river and the sun setting right behind the skyline, it was breathtaking, and we sat quite close, watching the sun fade away and the colors of the sky change.

Now, she is younger and I am a little bit more experienced than her and she knows it. So in my attempts to ease into things, I did not call her the next weekend. But, the next monday evening, I sent her a brief text suggesting we go for another adventure soon. It is now thursday and she has not responded. Normally I would move on when I don't get a response, but given that she was receptive to being called and is known for not responding to texts in general, it seems as if I should not give up so easy. But on the other hand, I fear that she is being too chicken to find the courage to say no, if that's how she's feeling, and is trying to give me a hint. Although that would be confusing, since we both undoubtedly had a blast together every time we've hung out.

Thoughts?

[smackie9]

Your method of eeeeeasing in doesn't work....do the opposite.

[Cerby]

Now, clearly I like her and I haven't tried to hide it. My method has been to spend time getting to know her one-on-one, building comfort and sexual tension, to a breaking point.

Fail. Women don't want to just "fall" into a guy, they want a confident guy to sweep them away. The "passive love" approach doesn't work. If you want her, take a straight line and just ask her out on a date.

[story]

Well I was hoping to skip the ridiculous first date second date third date formality since we've already established that we enjoy hanging out. I was just gonna kiss her when the time was right. But what you did make me think of, is that maybe a text asking her to hang again, days before the weekend, was not strong enough. So I will call her over the weekend and make it happen.

[Cerby]

There is a difference between "hanging out" and "dating". And springing a kiss is a great idea in the movies, but just akward in real life.

[story]

So what would constitute a "date" to differentiate it from hanging out? Besides the label itself? And wouldn't it be springing a kiss in either situation, since asking for permission is for wussies?

[smackie9]

How about "I would like to take you out on a date. How about dinner at this nice restaurant in town. I think you will really enjoy it. So how does Saturday sound?".

[smackie9]

Move in for a kiss when you drop her off at home. Which you should have done agaes ago.

[thiudiskr]

So what would constitute a "date" to differentiate it from hanging out? Besides the label itself? And wouldn't it be springing a kiss in either situation, since asking for permission is for wussies?

Asking a woman to go out on a date does not make you a wussy. What sort of nonsense is that? Just ask her out and stop thinking about how to do it.

[story]

we've already been to each other's house several times alone, it just seems funny to go eat somewhere and have it be different suddenly. If I call her to invite her over, do i need to mention that it's a date?

[Cerby]

When you're hanging out, its just hanging out, a kiss would be awkward. Once its labeled a date, then there is the underlying intention that you may try to kiss her, and she'll be expecting it.

[story]

Well it's worth a shot i suppose! I'll let friday go by to not seem too eager, i'll call her saturday morning. If she doesn't return the call, I'll have my answer.