How can I save the relationship? Can it be saved?

[mdmiles]

Hi, everyone. I'm not into posting on forums like this, but I'm completely lost. I'm going to try and give a lot of backstory here to make it easier to give advice, so bear with me please.

About two months ago, I met a girl. I almost immediately fell in love. We are so much alike and have so many things in common, and she got along perfectly with my family and friends. I had never been happier with anyone. Now, we had a little hardship because she was a bit closed off; and she explained to me she wasn't trying to be. We worked through that. Then, we found out she was pregnant. We both were so overjoyed and since we found out it's been even more amazing between us. Well, fast forward to this past week. We had a scare with the pregnancy and everything changed. It felt like she was pushing me away a little. We had to go out of town for a wedding over the weekend, and the first day everything seemed to be back to normal. However, I was having issues dealing with the scare and her being a bit cold- so I kind of acted a fool a little and bottled everything up. Two wrongs don't make a right, I know.

So, yesterday, we barely speak on the way home. I try to apologize and she says she doesn't want to talk about it. Later on, she texted me that we were over. She thinks I'm cheating. She says I hide my phone and delete texts and she knows I'm talking to someone. I'm not though. She also said that I checked out girls at the wedding, which I honestly probably did. I apologized and did everything I could to convince her otherwise. She's not listening. She told me to move on and forget about her.

She told me that I had treated her better than anyone she's been with and shared so many feelings with me and now I feel like it was all a lie. We still have the baby to think about. She says I don't want her, I just want the idea of a family and I'm sticking with her because she's an easy target; which really hurt.

So, what do I do? Do I give her time? How do I prove it to her? I thought about sending her flowers today, but I think that might make things worse. I know this is going to sound stupid, but she's yet to change anything on Facebook and she hasn't deleted me. Maybe that's at least a good sign. I don't know. Any help is appreciated here.

[Valixy]

I would think that most women who discover they're pregnant two months in a relationship would feel pretty nervous about it and have doubts. How old are you two? She sounds a bit immature accusing you about texting someone and cheating on her when you've done nothing that could have provoked such strong accusations. You also sound a bit immature for checking out other women at the wedding to the point of upsetting her so much. And finally with a baby on the way she accepts no apology or explanation from you and simply decides to break up with you and you're left with hopes about her facebook...

How does this sound to you? To me it sounds as if you two don't know each other very well yet. She doesn't trust you, thinks you've got someone else and you have no idea what's going on in her head. You could very well be living on different planets. You should be still in the dating period, discovering and learning about one another, making sure that your personalities and views upon life are compatible, without having to deal with a baby for another few years.

My opinion is that is her upsetting behaviour and the sudden break up are provoked consciously or unconsciously because she's having doubts on the relationship and she could be scared because of the unplanned pregnancy, but I could be wrong. Hopefully you two will soon speak and be able to communicate to one another what your feelings are and decide together about the best course for your lives from now on. Good luck.

[michelle23]

If I got pregnant two months in, it would scare the living crap out of me. Couples who have been together years struggle with a new baby. No time for sex, no real quality time together for awhile, both exhausted, emotional, irritable.. you gotta be a really strong couple to survive all of that and you two barely no each other.

A baby takes up all your time, they are demanding, need constant attention and have soo many emotional, financial and physical needs to attend to which is a life long responsibility.

You have 9 months to prepare for this. Its real so grow up fast and get ready. She needs to do the same. This is ridiculous that you are arguing over petty, immature crap and breaking up over nothing. How are you gonna survive together when the baby gets here.

And people look at other people in general. We all have eyes but staring to the point that she dumps you over it says your not really ready for a relationship and does make you seem untrustworthy. Trustworthy people glance occasionally-not drool

[moneyspills]

There is no shortage of reasons why a relationship might end. Women will end a relationship for a variety of different reasons. However, one thing I have learned over time is that warning always comes before destruction. In other words, there were some things going on in the relationship probably a few months or even a few years before she decided to walk away. You need to sit down and have an honest conversation with the man in the mirror.

Were you not treating her the right way? Were you neglecting her wants and needs? Was it all about you all the time? Were you constantly lying to her? Or even worse, did you cheat on her? Listen fellas, as my momma used to say, what you do in the dark will eventually come to light. In other words, everything catches up to you at some point.

And right here, right now is the time you need to get real with yourself. Stop playing the blame game and man up and take responsibility for your part in the demise of the relationship. That is the only way you will even have the smallest chance of getting her back.