I need some serious help, I'm wasting my life away.

[hurt2much]

I Have finally decided it's time for some help and advise. When I was 18 I had a relationship that lasted 5 years with a girl I loved so much, when I was with her my whole life felt right. I was happy with how everything was going family, friends, money, career, myself. She broke up with me by cheating on me with one of my so called friends and then grabbed all of her stuff and left to never speak to me again.

I'm 27 now 4 Years on from that break up and I have no feeling towards her or whats shes done I'm just angry at myself for what i've become. Right away after the break up none of my friends ask me if I was ok and I felt really let down by that, even worse some of them started to hang around we her and her friends which meant I'd never get invited out. Not only did it feel like ive lost my girlfriend but also alot of my friends.

I started to become a bit of a loner, my life right now is at its lowest in past few years I've gained weight, Got into a lot of debt, all the hopes I had for my career I've just given up on, My job which I used to work so hard at I've just given up on, I don't get on with my family but worst of all I have zero confidence in myself for example a girl tried to talk to me the other day I couldn't even look her in the eye, I was thinking in my head shes not going to be interested in anything I have to say.

I know i'm a loser ive ruined my life since this break up but I have no where left to turn to please could someone give me some advise or tell me how you recovered from a really bad break up or from a low point in your life?

[smackie9]

Join a gym, and read some inspirational literature, and listen to some great music to get your groove on to light the fire back into your life.

[TheEvilJester]

Honestly, I think we've all had times like that in our life. There really isn't a whole lot we can tell you here on a message board, because to you it is just going to sound like catch phrases and pleasantries. Trust me, I know. I've been where you are. In fact, I've lived my entire life with self-esteem issues. I was just lucky enough that getting out of a terrible relationship actually had the opposite effect on me than what you'd expect. I felt like the Phoenix rising from the ashes to become a new man, better than ever before.

That is exactly the feeling you need. You won't hear this advice often, but anger can actually be helpful... provided you don't allow it to take you over completely. Anger is more useful than despair. In other words, your girlfriend left you by cheating on you with somebody who was supposed to be your friend. Right now, you are stuck in feeling like something is wrong with you. The truth is, nothing is wrong with you, THEY are the ones who are worthless, sorry excuses for human beings. So, the attitude you need to have is "F them!"

Your friends, despite being YOUR friends, chose to continue to hang out with her even after what she did. You know what the means? They were never your true friends, and they too are nothing more than scumbags who deserve the @$$ kicking karma will eventually give them. So, again, the attitude to have is "F them!" Then, use that energy to channel it into positive things for you. Exercise, kicking butt at your job, etc. The attitude you want to create in yourself is a little healthy dose of "F them all! I'm going to take over the world and prove that I'm a million times better without scumbags like that in my life."

Sort of a "fake it 'til you make it" kind of attitude. Use that anger to fuel you to make your own life amazing, and in time the anger will fade but you'll find yourself much happier with the life that surrounds you. Then, that is the time to let go of the past and just allow yourself the chance to be happy again.

I know that is all easier said then done. When you are in the position you are right now, it is too hard to see through all the stormy clouds to see the light at the end of the lonely, dark tunnel. But it IS there, my friend. Trust me.

Funny enough (not "funny ha ha" but more so "funny I want to stab every human being I see through the face with a machete") for me it was the aftermath of my rise that has me sort of in the same position as you right now. I tried to be human again and it hasn't exactly gone well. So, from that I guess I'd say that I still recommend caution. I was so unbelievably happy when I got out of that relationship, that I guess I opened myself back up a little too much. I should have stepped more cautiously back into the "real world" so to speak.

But, eventually I WILL get there, and you will too. You are not a crappy person, you just had crappy people do crappy things to you. Why let them win? Instead, you need to grab the world by the grapes and TAKE your piece of the proverbial pie. Take it from a guy who has been there more times than anybody deserves, I know how hard it can be to believe that when you are where you are right now. But you and I, we are just getting started at conquering this world. We will OWN this place in time. Some day, you will look back on all this and realize it is what helped you to become the unstoppable awesome machine that you are. Good luck, my friend. I hope that day comes for you very soon.

[kp15]

I recovered from my worst break up by dating other people. It really took my mind off of things by finding someone who was able to show me a good time. & not just that, but I find a lot of content by just doing things that I enjoy or things that need to be done. just keep busy and try not to mope around.

[TheEvilJester]

Indeed. Keeping active is also a very good idea. Idle hands do the Devil's work, as they say. The more you allow yourself to dwell in these thoughts, the worse they will get and the more they will take the wheel. Yet the more you keep your mind occupied, that is less and less that you'll think about all this drama, and that disconnect is what helps best to start coming up for fresh air and realizing that you did not deserve the crappy things that happened to you. Good luck, friend.

[Wakeup]

I'm thinking that it's not the break up that has caused you to become who you are but rather you were always this person but she somehow bought out the best in you until she couldn't take the negativity any longer. Your friends don't leave you to be with someone who betrayed you if you are a good friend to have. Did you invite them out to do things with you or did you just wait around to be invited? It takes being a friend to have a friend you know.

I suggest you get yourself a life coach to help you improve on your general outlook about life and yourself in general. He'll guide you to learn how to love yourself and to hone your personal boundaries which in turn will give you the confidence to be the best you that you can be.

It's time to stop blaming a breakup on why you've become who you are and do the work you need to do to overcome him. (him, of course being you as you currently are)

You can do this you just have to stop viewing yourself as some sort of victim, forget the past and look forward to who you will become.

[pcmaster]

You need to raise your game mate. At this point real life is going to be hard once you get back to it but you shouldn't give up and take the pain first two months. later its going to be easier.

Check this guide.
[url]https://www.loveforum.net/the-relationship-news-and-articles/85674-guide-interacting-girls.html[/url]
loveforum.net/the-relationship-news-and-articles/85674-guide-interacting-girls.html

Also for breaukup this video is helpful.

youtube.com/watch?v=K8Exlo4E5v8

However man what you seem having is depresion. Pills could help with that. For that you should see psychiatrist. Also if you still havent got over breakup then psychotherapist(someone to talk to) might be helpful.

I suggest you look for energy to change your life in positive interactions with people. Get with friends you still have or make a new friends. Start to work out like run in the moornings or go to gym. Also make sure you have work thats challenging. Think problem is you are stuck in comfort zone where you hide from other girls and people that could hurt you. Think you should risk and get out there again.

Happy New year mate ^_- !